Teh Blog of teh Luq

A Letter

2011-03-25T18:25:00.000-07:00

A Letter to Elise by The Cure

Oh Elise it doesn't matter what you say

I just can't stay here every yesterday

Like keep on acting out the same

The way we act out

Every way to smile

Forget

And make-believe we never needed

Any more than this

Oh Elise it doesn't matter what you do

I know I'll never really get inside of you

To make your eyes catch fire

The way they should

The way the blue could pull me in

If they only would

At least I'd lose this sense of sensing something else

That hides away

From me and you

There're worlds to part

With aching looks and breaking hearts

And all the prayers your hands you make

Oh I just take as much as you can throw

And then throw it all away

Oh I throw it all away

Like throwing faces at the sky

Like throwing arms round

Yesterday

I stood and stared

Wide-eyed in front of you

And the face I saw looked back

The way I wanted to

But I just can't hold my tears away

The way you do

Elise believe I never wanted this

I thought this time I'd keep all of my promises

I thought you were the girl I always dreamed about

But I let the dream go

And the promises broke

And the make-believe ran out...

So Elise

It doesn't matter what you say

I just can't stay here every yesterday

Like keep on acting out the same

The way we act out

Every way to smile

Forget

And make-believe we never needed

Any more than this

And every time I try to pick it up

Like falling sand

As fast as I pick it up

It runs away through my clutching hands

But there's nothing else I can really do

There's nothing else I can really do

There's nothing else

I can really do

At all...

---------------------------

I haven't posted in awhile.

This song strikes me. Everything, minus the name Elise, word for word is the truth.

I was never good with words, and I'm relying on music to help me speak.

....

I'm sorry it had to come to this. After building so much, after working on us for so long. All the hardships we've been through.

I had to tear the wall down out of hate and confusion, now the wall no longer exist.

But I digress.

I look back. And remember all the times I had tried hard to keep the wall intact. The repairs we've made to keep it standing. The good times it kept us safe and happy. Now the wall is no longer there. And I don't think it'll ever be again.

I'll leave you to it. I'm just gonna fade into the midst like the person I am.

"Smoked Out"

2010-07-24T07:06:00.001-07:00

Here's a preview of one of my Journalistic Writing ICA4 articles.

It's about a smoker. Enjoy.

-------------
He blew out his puff as he sat there quietly, watching the tip of his cigarette die out. He had finished the second stick of the day, so he stubbed it out and threw it into the ash tray. As he looked up, his face expressionless, he tried to recall the days of how that age old habit started out in him.

Muhammad Arifin, is only 18 this year, but he has already been smoking for 4 years now. Studying in Nanyang Polytechnic’s Media Studies & Management (soon to be rebranded as Mass Media Management), he has been depending on the magic stick to keep him going through the tough life of polytechnic. But how did he pick it up in the first place?

It all started when Arifin was in Secondary 2. Back then, he was schooling in Ang Mo Kio Secondary, studying in the express stream. The thing is for Ariffin, he never really had smoker friends back then. He started smoking due not to peer pressure, but more to personal issues. His dad was already a smoker, and he was having trouble with his studies. So one day, he decided to take his first puffs which lead him onto a never-ending journey of tobacco.

“I could still remember my first pack. It was Marlboro Reds.” He said.

“I didn’t know what else to buy, so I bought it from a shop under my block. The uncle there assumed I was old enough, and sold me the pack.”

Nowadays, Ariffin would smoke different brands depending on his mood and the money he has in his pocket.

Ever since, he has discreetly smoked throughout his secondary school life and into his tertiary education. He had been caught before by his parents, but after countless berates, they have more or less given up on him.

However, Arifin had tried to quit the habit before. Over the course of his smoking career, he has tried to quit for at least about 6 times. One time, he was almost successful, going as long as 6 months without a cigarette.

“It was because of this girl, I liked. She told me, she’ll only be with me if quit smoking – which I did. But she disappeared eventually, which gave me a reason not to quit anymore”, Arifin recalls.

Arifin explains his life as a roller coaster ride, with more downs than ups. This made him go back to the comforts of tobacco every time something doesn’t go right. Sometimes he feels as if he doesn’t want to be dependent on the stick, seeing he isn’t exactly the healthiest guy on earth.

He had tried various ways to get him out of the habit. At first, he tried to simply satisfy cravings by having a sweet every now and then. However, that became a much more expensive method than buying packs weekly. Eventually he tried Nicotine Gum, a gum that supposedly gives smokers their nicotine fix without the stains of tobacco. His parents bought for him the gum for his 17th birthday. He tried it a couple of times, but hated it due to its bland and spicy taste.

No matter what he tried, the call of the cigarette was too strong for him to resist. To him, smoking isn’t just because of his addiction to nicotine. He feels at ease with it. It calms him when nothing else can.

“Sometimes, I feel that cigarettes are the only thing that truly understands me”

Muhammad Arifin doesn’t intend to give up smoking anytime soon now. He now believes it’s the only thing keeping him together after all he’s been through, and he doesn’t regret it at all. Even if he did have a chance to forever quit smoking, he would rather stick to the stick.

Carry On Wayward Son

2010-06-17T10:17:00.000-07:00

Carry on my wayward son,
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion
I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high
Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man
I hear the voices when I'm dreamin', I can hear them say:

Carry on my wayward son,
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, it surely means that I don't know
On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune, but I hear the voices say:

Carry on my wayward son,
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more NO!

Carry on, you will always remember
Carry on, nothing equals the splendor
Now your life's no longer empty
Surely heaven waits for you

Carry on my wayward son,
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry
Don't you cry no more

-------------------

A classic.

Just felt like it.

Please Don't Slow Me Down, If I'm Going Too Fast....

2010-06-12T09:02:00.000-07:00

Holy shit, it's finally over.

For now.

For the past week, I've been on the fucking edge from the moment I wake up, till I close my eyes and go to sleep. I don't know why. I've been waking up late every morning. Rushing to school, keeping my cool and all. It's pretty obvious to people I'm under pressure and my angst is getting the best of me at times.

But that's me, when I'm all drained out. I wasn't under that much pressure. I can handle the stress, but when an overload of stuff comes down on me, I get tired. I was just shagged for the most part. Planning and directing a play, planning group projects and executing roles, doing assignments and studying for tests and all. Mehhh...

At least I'm done with it. Thank god. You have no idea how good I felt while I was in that taxi, after I sent her off, on the way home. I felt refreshed and I literally felt something heavy was off me finally.

Now my goal is to sleep, stay in bed, and watch the World Cup all the way till the start of term 2... BUT WAIT!

Luqman, you forgetful ignorant lazy baffoon. Of course you can't rest now! There's still much to do over these 2 weeks! When school reopens, everything will come running down my doorstep like a bull seeing red.

So okay, here's the plan - take a break for 2 days. Once Wednesday passes, get back on my toes and do things SLOWLY. Yes, take it slow. An advice I made up, but never really uphold myself. I'm a such an hypocrite.

----

Any-vayz...

I vuld liek to thank ze Year 2 Dramas for putting in their precious time for StageArts Night. I know the story and all isn't exactly right, and the crowd laughed at the wrong times, and the sounds cocked up, and everything didn't went smoothly, and I was stressed out and all.

But seriously, everyone thanks.

Now we all can vanish and make our dramatic comeback to Stage Arts, one by one, when production comes along. Or not.

Whatever it is... I wanna not do stuff anymore. For now.

Me? Sarcastic? Nahhhh....

2010-06-06T07:20:00.001-07:00

What a mess. What's a mess? Everything is!

But it's the kind of mess that keeps us moving and not loathing around, doing nothing. Being lazy-ass bums.

Shit happens all the freaking time. Like everyday, there's bound to be something trying to bring you down. It can be as small as dropping a coin the floor, or as big as a fight with someone. Basically, a lot went down over the past week or so.

Good and bad. It's funny how so many things can happen to you, when you've hardly done anything at all.

Anyways.

School - same old, same old.

Good news?
I passed both my Journalistic Writing and Media Market Research written test. Not exactly flying colours, but not exactly borderline average either. I'm happy because these bastards decided to pop-up on my birthday, and I fucking took them down like the bitches they are.

Bad news?
Lots of work, Multi-cam was a nerve-wrecking. I'm constantly being late for classes. I'm always coming home late, and dying on my desk. I've been starving during the day, and always end-up eating a lot late at night.

Drama taking a toll on me. I'm directing a play for StageArts night. I fear, I won't get everything done in time. I'm good at executing, but organizing ain't my cup of tea.

Also, I got appointed as leader for two module ICAs. I didn't had a say. But meh, I'll show them whose boss! That would be ME. I haven't done anything. Looks like I gotta move the cogs in the machine. That's what I'm always expected to do.

Hmm, as far as my relationship with her is concerned, we've gone through rocky waters. But fortunately all is fine. She's simple, yet confusing. Or maybe it's just in my head. Maybe I just don't know how to handle and adapt to sudden chances in the tide.

Sometimes it feels like an unstoppable force, meets an immovable object. Nothing is gain..

Needless to say, it's part and parcel of everything. That's reality, nothing is ever you expect it to be. Still, I'm not complaining. I'd take this over being lonely and upset all the time, any day.

NOW. Only ONE MORE FREAKING WEEK. After this week, well .. technically, there is no "holiday" just a break. Hell, the break won't even be a break.

BUT WE MUST BE OPTIMISTIC. For we must remember - It's always darkest before the dawn.

NOW. ONWARDS. after I finish this cookie.

Caught in a Crossfire

2010-05-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

Here's a situation for you little people. Play it out in your head.
It may require some flexible ethics depending on who you are.

Scenario:
You are out with two good friends. One of them is your significant other, the other, her/his best friend. Everyone's having a great time, until suddenly, a tiny issue is raised and everything goes sour.

Your significant other fires harsh words at their best friend. There is an awkward silence.

You are left alone.

Both parties are badly hurt. Your significant other is now emotional and regrets their actions.

Do you still comfort and support them?

What about the other friend? Remember, they're still a very good/close friend of yours.
Would it be biased if you tend to your own partner only? Will they feel neglected?

The best course of action is obviously to be Neutral. But what do you say to be neutral? How will you break the long silence? What do you do to mend the situation?

-----

I hope someone can give me an answer to this, because I suck at it. Thanks.

Send me your best answers, and you'll stand a chance to win a Sandwich... made by me.

I must confess that I feel like a monster...

2010-05-27T08:58:00.001-07:00

What is wrong with this animal
I'm terrible
I hope you never see me wind up!

The barrage of workload and endless nights reign once again. The sudden transition from relaxation mode to work-mode is never an easy shift. My fatigue is showing. But, I have to put it aside to attend to other matters.

In-Course Assessments every single week. And unlike last semester, where I was lazing my ass off throughout, I'm actually trying to put effort now. I actually studied for a written test that wasn't an exam. Things are moving so fast, it still feels as if the holidays just ended. But in actual fact, that was more than a month ago.

Today, my angst got a grip on me once again. I never liked myself when I'm angry, 'coz, I don't think. I snapped at Arifin, my good friend, while he was having a good time. For no reason. I don't know why. I felt so bad after wards. I don't know how many lives I've shook because of my unforeseen mood swings. Unpredictable anger is the worst form anger ever. I need an anger management therapist... Like Dr. Buddy Rydell! Anger Management was a good movie.

The face that killed a thousand angry brain cells.... wait

Tomorrow's Vesak Day, a public holiday. I wanna go out. My parents promised me an outing, though that hardly seem possible now. I find it funny, they hardly acknowledged even my own birthday. My dad anyways. I didn't receive a present or anything. Have they given up on me?

Maybe not. I pray not.

I guess, it's the perfect time to catch my breath, and take a break. But nah, I've never been one to sit still and rejuvenate. I'll find a way.

Okay enough of this depressing bull shit. I'll crap about something magical tomorrow.

OWW!! I mean... AAHH!! ... nah, not really.

2010-05-20T08:06:00.000-07:00

Well, well... look who's an old dude now.

Yours truly. I got so caught up with all the excitement and glamor of having those kick-ass rock star parties all night, I forgot to wish myself my own Birthday.

So,

Happy fucking Birthday to Me.

I'm finally a 19 year-old awesome guy. No not really.
But I am 19... Sigh.

So how I did I really celebrated the official start of my final teenage year? Not much. All I did before the barrage of facebook wishes came raining down my Notification box was, sitting on my arse, eating chocolate chip cookies and watching Family Guy till 4am in the morning. Best Party Ever.

But before that, the guys and me head to that Grassroots club/building next door to the school, and had a few friendly games of Pool. What started out as a joke, became a real fun event for us.

Youliang takes a shot.

All we needed were leather jackets, epic beards, a Jukebox, cigarettes, glasses of beer, and a hot waitress walking around taking our Steak orders... Yeah keep dreaming Luq, this ain't America.

A Tuesday Evening well spent.

The next day, as a birthday present, Miss Ang thought it'd be nice to give us a test! Journalistic Writing! Yay. It feels so fun to pick up the pen and paper again, and actually write an article/composition with it. Sure, my hand felt crampy after wards, but it was worth it! Memories of days old where this was a norm and writing story involved a pen, correction tape, and an endless supply of paper. Secondary school compo days were awesome ... except when it comes to Mother Tongue. Fuck you Karangan.

After all that, I met up with her and we had a mini-date to Pastamania.
It was, an intriguing experience for me, filled with interesting tastes that made my tongue danced out loud. Tasbasco Sauce ftw.

Also, I've NEVER eaten in at Pastamania before (I've been more of a Take-away kind of guy), so I was kinda lost with the what-nots of the restaurant. Now I know, and knowing is half the battle!

That new experience was her birthday gift to me. It was all I needed, and I'm more than happy with it.

I just wish I wasn't so much of an idiot during the night. One stupid move by me without thinking, and everything went haywire. I felt like screaming and tearing off some heads in the bus. Sigh. But alas, what was done, is done.

And so, that was my 19th birthday in a wrap. To think since I'm 19, and I'm celeberating on the 19th, and I was born 1991, I would have a string of some magical or epic number-19 filled events. But, I've never been one for such trivial celebrations. It's my final year as a teenager. I'll need to live it all. When I turn 20, and look back at how I grew up, I want to remember my teenage-hood as an extravagant series of events that fully shaped my life for the better, and not remember it for the wrong reasons.

We're the new face of failures.

2010-05-15T07:31:00.000-07:00

Oh god, do I always sound like that?

That was one ride of a week. Fortunately, it's all over. Let's do it again.... NOT!
You have no idea how relieving it is to see her again. It's like, all my sickness and worries suddenly went away.

A silly skinnies shopping trip in town, somehow ends up on the rooftop of Vivo City.

An intense drama meeting, somehow ends up at a quiet corner of Republic Poly.

I feel fantastic.

----

Please do not disturb the bear during this hibernation period. Thank you

Hey, it's been awhile since I've blabbered about school! So why not I get back to that, huh? How's school? Puuurrrfect. So far, all I've been doing is an endless barrage of boring lectures and tutorials. They range from the horrendously dry, to an exciting water-slide. But honestly, for me, it's been in one ear and out the other.

I slept through Media Market Research, twice. Both tutorial and lecture. It's that horrible of a module. I remember the first lecture (technically, it was the second lecture, since I couldn't make it for the official first lecture), I almost immediately fell asleep. I awoke to the silent chuckles of my friends around me. They too, more or less, showed signs of being drained out from that drought of a lecture. Near the end of it (I awoke around this time), I was shocked to see someone actually asking questions!

Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

People who were actually paying attention to whole thing??? BLASPHEMY.

I don't know, it's just me. I have never been one who would actually be able to pay attention to things I don't bother giving my two cents about. I mean, we're media students. We're not god-damned scientists or engineers. Hell, being a business person wasn't even part of the deal when we entered this place (well, for most of us anyways).

But still, thank god for Media-related modules. Yes. Modules that a Media Student can actually be proud of. You know, those modules that we were expecting to learn when we SIGNED UP for this god-damned course?

Journalistic Writing is much more fun when you're actually WRITING rather than just sitting there listening HOW to write.

And I know I'm just going to miss Multi-Cam when the Semester is over.

But whatever. Who am I to complain, it's school. Those stuff will probably haunt or come back at some point of my life. Might as well suck it up and live with it. Like two years ago, I lamented at the fact I was taking Food and Nutrition. But guess what, who'd knew all that could actually get me some attention from some people., heh.

Falling In Love - McFly

2010-05-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

And I'll survive... Paranoid.

2010-05-12T08:06:00.000-07:00

Pig-casso's bored in class...

Well this sucks. It's only half of the week, and I have my back against the wall. I'm stuck here in between being the exuberant hyper monkey I am and being totally depressed. I don't know, I just don't feel like myself since the week started.

Dipping in and out of fevers..
Asthma-like coughs randomly spouting..
A blocked nose, causing unsettling noises and breathing...

Nah, I'm fine now. The flu came and left as fast as it got to me. But the worst to all this was that, I had to push myself despite the fact I was almost dying. Trust me, standing directly behind a burning spotlight while your whole body is burning a nice 39 degrees on the inside (not to mention wearing a 3 layers of a Hooded shirt, a shirt, and a blazer) is not an experience for the faint-hearted.

Monday night, I was enjoying my wholesome rest. *beep beep* Oh no, I gotta go for a last-minute movie screening of Robin Hood. The other 2 can't make it, and I'm their last hope. Sigh... I slept through the whole movie either way. Immediately next day, filming and it took fucking forever. I was this close to just collapsing halfway on camera.

No one's in the mood to be on camera right now...

After the whole thing, I popped in 2 tablets of paracetamol. Hood up. Dozed off in the heat of the crowded canteen. 10 mins later, Aaron and Hakim woke me up and I dragged my sorry ass to lecture.

And I'm just gonna put this out straight - I'm seriously close to just giving up the "game".

I may. Seem strong? But that's what we liars do. We put on a mask and stay that way, when behind I'm just dying. Fuck. I'm acting. Act Act Act. Drama what.... alamak. I know it's not been even a week but .. maybe it's the fever. Yeah, those headaches and what not got me thinking too much. I just don't know anymore.

Only a day left. Tahan.

Random Flu Bug is Random.

2010-05-09T04:22:00.000-07:00

Pop goes the Kitty :3

Recently, whenever I reach home early or before 10pm, I'll always see this one cat sleeping or just laying down along my block's flight of stairs. For the first few times, whenever I approach it, it'll go into a defensive stance. But now, I think it somehow gotten the idea that I'm not worth the effort to be scared of. Now it'll just sit there and stone at me whenever I pass by. Cute lil' bugger.

Anywho,

Ahhh my legs are all cramped up. Well my thighs are. And I haven't even been to the gym in a month. I gone back to my running routine. Surprisingly, I managed to do 2.4 without stopping. Shocking, especially since I've been smoking like a bitch. Gotta keep it up.

But right now, I don't think I can. Every part of my body seems to aching today. I woke up this morning with a terrible sore throat, and along the day, I got a terrible cold. Every sneeze I took, felt like a chainsaw grazing through the insides of my throat. I just want to tear my throat off. Guuh.

After a quick (though distasteful) nap, the cold sort of went away. But my throat still hurts badly. Thank god class is canceled tomorrow. Saves me the trouble of photocopying a Medical Certificate and sending in an online Statement of Absence. So fucking leceh.

Oh, and Hani, don't stress too much. Alright?
Take a chillaxative. I'll be fine.
I'll see you in a week... (:

The Runaways (2010) Movie Review

2010-05-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

Technically, I'm a movie reviewer/critic now. I'm one of NYP TV's Movie Musketeers, so looks like I've gotta start review some movies now eh? As a media student, I'm more than happy to do so.

So recently, Aaron and me were invited to watch "The Runaways", a reenactment of the events that brought the 70s all-girl band, The Runaways, into fame and fortune. So let's begin.

I came into the cinema with low expectations for the movie. Even though the trailers for the movie were pretty eye-opening, I was expecting the movie to be another cliché “Rock Band-gone-bad-due-to-fame” kind of movie. What’s more, it was supposed to be based on the original “The Runaways” band, and knowing how Hollywood likes to cheese out and exaggerate the ‘real’ story for their movies, I thought it was probably going to be another one of those sad excuse for a movie.

However, I’m actually surprised how the movie went. It more or less gravitated towards the original source material of how the band came about (I know this, because I kind of did some research about the band), with a one or two slight diversions from the real events to fit a 2 hour storyline.

The movie really brought out the dark and dirty scene of the night social life of the 70s/80s. Drugs and booze were a norm, and overdressed partygoers were actually considered “hip”. “The Runaways” used this to give the audience an impression just how low the band was before they soared. It more or less worked.

Resident Twilight girl, Kristen Stewart, played as Joan Jett. Her performance was surprisingly awesome. She managed to bring out the angst and rough lifestyle of a Rock Star, while Dakota Fanning, played as the band’s lead singer, Cherrie Curie, completely turned her “innocent girl” look into a disturbingly believable jailbait that would leave hundreds of men ashamed to actually ogle at a 15 year old. Both actresses did a fantastic job completely transforming themselves into their characters, going out of their way to exit their comfort zones and be something they could never portray from their previous movies.

Spot the jailbait.

In terms of storyline, it was rather expected. Badass girl wants to be a rock star. Innocent girl wants to be a singer. As fate would have it, they meet and get a chance to form a band with the help of a wacky psychotic Record Producer, Kim Fowley (played by Michael Shannon). They start small and struggled to make themselves known, and through the hard life style of rock and roll, they eventually make a breakthrough and achieved the title of Rock Stars. However, fame and drugs get into their heads, and things don’t work out as well, so the band dissolves. Everyone took their own paths (with Joan Jett continuing her musical dreams, forming “Joan Jett and the Blackhearts”), and it ended with a cute phone conversation/reunion within Joan, Cherrie, and an awkward Radio DJ.

Cool ah...

The movie focused mostly on these 2 characters and Fowley. The other members in the band were not fleshed out as much as, and felt more like extras to keep the fact that it’s about a rock band. Though, after some research, the producers had actually intended to bring out story of the original bassist of “The Runaways”, but due to legal issues, it wasn’t possible. I have no qualms over this, because the movie was only an hour plus long, and trying to squeeze in the back stories of 5 members within a small time frame would just make the movie a lot messy and won’t really focus on what happened to the band.

Now available, "The Runaway" Dolls! In stores now. (bassist not included)

It’s a nice movie to watch if you’re into the explicitly of being a Rock Star and I say 4 nachos. Watch it if you can.

Every thug needs a lady...

2010-05-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

It's times like these you learn to live again It's times like these you give and give again It's times like these you learn to love again It's times like these time and time again

Oh the things I do for love.
The cheese I spread across everything I do and say. It'll make half of you people want to puke out your hearts out instead.

It's been almost 2 weeks, and my new girlfriend has kept me sane.

What's her name, you ask? Princess Honey. Go figure.

The past two weeks have been a constant tide of ecstasy and trauma. To be honest, as much as I look like the kind of guy who knows what's what in a relationship, I'm as much of a newbie as she is. I'm not exactly sure or know when to do what. I'm only acting on instinct, perception, luck, general knowledge and from what I learned from movies and books.

I'm the worst kind of cliche anyone can ever get.

But that got me somewhere, so I guess I must have done something right. Heh...

Well, we haven't had much time going out due to educational obligations. This is really another long distance relationship. She lives across the country. Her school is across the campus from mine. But, being the kind of guy I am, I go out of my way to keep her company as much as I can.

Yes, I'm so sweet, you can actually die from diabetes.

Anywho, today my schedule was packed, ranging from the stupid to the awesome. As usual, met up with her, and planned to go somewhere.

Who'd knew tonight would be so awesome. It was impromptu, but somehow everything went so smoothly. Didn't had a plan... somehow ended up in town and Esplanade/Clark Quay of all places. Which is kinda cool, 'coz Esplanade used to be my central area for hanging out. And I haven't been there for god knows how long.

(not in picture) a bunch of mumbo jumbo construction stuff.

We sat, we talked. Conveniently, I had my guitar with me. So, out of nowhere, I ahem serenaded ahem her.

Yes, you may start puking your hearts out. Your hearts, you imbeciles, not your dried up, nicotine-filled lungs!

Okay, not exactly serenade. I just played a few hits that I thought might put a smile on her face. It more than just made her smile, heh.

So we left the area. Sent her home and we had a heart-to-heart (if you can say that) talk. It was unexpected, but it was bound to happen eventually. And it happened in the train. Hmm, come to think of it, lots of stuff happened in the train for us. Hehe.

Let's just say, I feel we made a difference tonight. The wall of secrets between us have lessen. It's nice. We needed that talk anyways. I mean. The fact we got together so fast, just like that ... seemed a little too good to be true. So, some back-story from both parties had to be filled in to see how the pieces fit. Now that's the picture is complete (somewhat), it makes more sense to why things happened the way they did.

Well, that's enough soul-searching for one night. I'll be back to my normal narcissistic nonsensical blogpost by tomorrow or so. Have a good night.

This is my gift; and my curse... I'm Spid- .. Luqman.

2010-05-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

You know. Come to think of it, my life right now feels like the events from the Spiderman movie trilogy. And I'm Peter Parker.

No, I didn't get bitten by a radioactive spider (at least I think I didn't).

No, I don't shoot web out of my wrists nor do I swing from building to building.

And no, I can't climb walls (actually I can, but not as often as I used to anymore).

Just that specific themes of the events that happened from Spiderman 1 to 3 somehow to relates to what I've been doing and going through. Let's analyse, shall we?

----

With great power comes great DVD deals

So okay, let's begin with Spiderman 1.

In Spiderman 1, Peter Parker is introduced as the nerdy loser kid who's just leading and average life. There's nothing special about him, he wears specs and has only one friend.

That was me. More or less. I came to Poly like everyone else, no credit to my name, and was the average guy who wasn't a joker/jock/cool dude/etc.. I was another cog in the education machine. I had my crushes whom I almost never talked to and had more than enough selengeh-ism (loser-like day-to-day fails) in everything I do.

So okay, soon Peter gets bitten by a Spider, and one morning he wakes up with a changed body.

I was a fat kid, and one day I realised ... wow, I, lost weight?

So yeah, you get the point. I'll keep the self-praising to a minimum.

Mmmmm, yeah. Nothing much else that relates from Spiderman 1. I didn't fought any green goblins. Oh wait, I'll consider my schoolwork as an epic battle. All those late night struggles that almost brought me down. They count for something, right?

Taste my Presentational fury Pang! ... oh wait

So yeah, all was well. I've fully moved into a new lifestyle. Poly changed me for the better and all was well, for awhile. Just like how Peter feels when he's completely into being Spiderman and finally everything ends well for him.

At least that's what we thought.

So okay, this is where the fun begins. Spiderman 2.

This is when Parker becomes a depressed Spider and the whole world is against him. He's fighting to survive on a daily basis, having trouble expressing himself to the one he loves, and at some point just doesn't want to be Spiderman anymore.

This was when I got suddenly depressed at some point in my life. If you read my previous blog post ... well let's say that story has a part in it. I just felt like I everything was fucked up and I was just waking up. Survive the day. Go back to bed. Life was mundane and I hated it.

Me: 0, Big Bad World: 1 ... Nuff said.

But eventually, after much inner struggling (also some references from my previous blog post), everything suddenly cleared. A heavy burden got lifted off my shoulders and all I could do was sit there and think "Wow, is this for real?".

Just like how Spiderman 2 ends. Mary-Jane finds out who Peter really is, and all Peter could do is sit on his bed and look out his window and think, if everything really is going to change.

Now we move on to the finale, Spiderman 3.
This is where I am currently at.

Peter is happy. Everything is for him now. He's got the girl, the fans, and the fame. Everything's going great.

That's what I'm feeling right now. It's like, my life took a turn and now every since the first day of the first week of school started, everything feels so fine. So far so good.

Peter lets it get to his head, and is too into himself. His girl, Mary-Jane, isn't exactly having a time of her life, and has problems of her own, but Peter is too distracted to see this. Now this sounds familiar, although I won't go into it because I'm not in the position of explaining. But, you get the idea. However, unlike Parker, I am aware of Mary-Jane's problems, and despite my better efforts, I want to help solve it.

So yeah, basically where I am at now is, well. I'm an overly-happy douche ... with emo hair.

It's not hard to imagine my face there.

That sort of wraps it up. Sort of. The movie is still playing for me, so I'm just gonna see how it rolls. Spider-man 3 isn't exactly the best movie out there, so I'm guessing the fact that I'm comparing my life with it goes to show how much of a fail and douchebag I am. But. Meh. I digress.

The Princess and the Subtle Pauper.

2010-04-25T06:34:00.000-07:00

Good evening kiddies from all over.
Gather 'round, for a story is about to be told and it's not over.
Get your blankets and your pillows,
And embrace the joy as we pass around marshmallows!

:D

Okay enough of that bull crap.

This is a story about Boy, a Girl, a wise wrinkly Black Man, a Genie, a strong brave old Lady and a magical 3g iPhone.

Once upon a time in the land of Annwaiipee, it was ruled by a magical imaginative kingdom who proclaimed themselves as the Artstagers.

In the kingdom, lived a beautiful Princess. She was the sweetest thing to have ever lived. Some say she was even as sweet as Honey... well okay enough with the mushy stuff. Let's just call her Honey.

One day, a guy flew from the distant white lands of Londore and arrived in Annwaiipee, just 3 weeks before the start of an annual Orientation Festival. He went by the name of... uhhh... hmm... Lego. (i blame that small lego toy sitting on my desk)

You see, Lego was the kind of guy who held back a lot and needed to be provoked in order to get going. Lego had traveled to Annwaiipee because through his magical 3g iPhone, he had word from a Dark mysterious man, that an epic Festival was coming and soon he became fascinated by it. He had intended to learn more and perhaps be part of the special event that only occurs once a year.

He finally made contact with the people of Artstagers and after much deliberation, he soon became one of them as well. Soon, preparations were on the way as the number of days shorten towards the arrival of the Festival.

Lego had made several new acquaintances. One of them was an old lady, but don't be fooled by her age because she was strong willed and had a powerful roar that shook the bonds of a thousand douchebags.

He eventually found out that the mysterious man who told him about the event was actually a very wise wrinkly black dude who had a premonition for Lego's future.

Lego had also befriended a Genie who could only eat specific kinds of food that fell under the category of "meatless"..

But one thing was bothering Lego. One day, while lepaking with his crew (yes that's a traditional Artstager's past-time) he noticed the beautiful Princess Honey walking by. As she gracefully breezed across the hallways with her pure bright eyes and innocent smile, Lego's heart stopped. He stoned in fear. But it was a good kind of fear. The kind of fear where people in the modern days would call, love.

As days passed, he would see the Princess more and more and eventually found ways to talk to her. They spoke, but did not converse long. Neither of them had the chance. It was hard and awkward. Until one day, Lego summoned the magical Facebook and enchanted the MSN spell which allowed them to talk with one another much more easily.

Soon, the Genie became suspicious of Lego's doings. She with the help of the her magical crew, they sought to bring out the truth through dastardly interrogations. Lego was strong, he held back and didn't give in. However, it was at the cost of his own self-esteem and the awkwardness with the Princess.

Lego didn't know what to do. He was in the belief that he was fighting a losing fight within himself, and he would never win the heart of the princess because he was just another every-man who sprung up from nowhere. But, the wise wrinkly black man saw through Lego's troubles and comforted him. He gave words of advice and motivation to encourage and boost Lego's ego to be the charming prince that he is.

Soon, after much consultation, everyone was on Lego's side. After a daring after-dark gathering at the Beaches of East Coast, it is where Lego had learned the ultimate truth of his real actions and how it was bringing him down. He knew how high the stakes were now, and the Genie and her crew finally pledge full support to Lego.

One night, after the Princess returned home from her maiden voyage. Lego unleashed himself and slayed the awkward monster that stood between him and the princess. Words were said, and a date was set.

All was well.

As days passed, the festival began. They played it low and under the radar, but was mutual for the most. After the first day of the Club Crawl festival, Lego finally gathered enough effort and pulled the most "smoothest" cheesiest thing ever. I swear, you would have laughed if you were there. Gahhhhh. Well played Lego. Well played.

The Princess agreed to Lego's offer, and they both were happy.

But their adventures did not stop there!

One day, the terrifying NEh Monster was terrorizing Artstagers, especially the Princess and it was ruining her focus for much important things. Lego offered his help, and together with the help of the Princess's handmaidens, they managed to edit a video that would put down the monster once and for all. The princess and her handmaidens thanked Lego.

So now it's all cool, and the rest... is history.

-------------

Thanks for reading. Now go turn my story into some big-budget Hollywood/Bollywood Blockbuster Hit.

I suggest casting Ewan McGregor for Lego. He's cool.

I'll club you till you crawl.

2010-04-24T08:01:00.000-07:00

The week ends! NYP's first week of school closes and with that, I hope you freshmen had a good time. Savor it. It's not gonna be heaven forever, prepare to taste the fiery goodness that is Polytechnic. Endless projects, muggings, lectures and the likes. Live it, breathe it, eat it, sleep with it. Why? Because you are it.

And with that Drama performances are officially over! I'm done! Done! Over the next one!

Club Crawl closes with the roar of a thousand thunderstorms. We came. We saw. We... didn't exactly conquer but still we stood out.

This time I played as one of the Three Little pigs. To sum up our play - Fairy tales crossover with a cliche love twist. Nuff said. BUT IT WAS AWESOME.

For pigs, WE LOOK GOOD.

I had to wear make up for most of the day. You have, no idea how much dignity I've lost. How could my previous character - Mr. Hottie, get so low as to turn into a purple/pink-ish pig. Urgh, two days of walking past people laughing and giving me the "What. the flying Fuck." face and giving me sarcastic comments about how I look, only to "oink oink" my back not even a minute later.

Nevermind. A shot of Redbull will take all the embarrassment away.

We gave it all. We had fun. We cheered our lungs out, dash across the stage as fast we could, jumped and flailed our arms around in euphoria, and celebrated our victory as if we had just won the World Cup. Nothing beats that satisfying feeling of completing a huge burden with a big bang.

All our efforts were never in vain. So screw you Miss "You Guys Are Disappoint, Need to Have More Fun, and Be Real Life Fairy Tale Characters Through Therapy Sessions". You know who you are. You were never there to see how much planning had gone into each scene, nor were there when we were laughing at each other during rehearsals, or stood in for someone's part when they weren't there. Just because we were not feeling well that one night (which so happened to be the first fucking day of school, mind you), you thought we were just showing attitude. It's obvious you don't know us as well as you think you do.

You know who you are.... *glare*

Well, to put it in wraps it was a fun event and I'm glad I can put drama aside for now. I've been missing my "Juboh" crew and the warriors of MS0901.

Seriously. You know you're being left out from school when a classmate goes "Hey, I'm doing PR tutorials", and you go "PR what?!".

Back to the land of endless easy words turned complicated terms, emailed notes, queer angsty comedic lecturers, and camera works.

I guess just because my name is "Bozo", I was destined to be a Clown...

2010-04-18T00:21:00.000-07:00

So there was I.

Shirtless in the salty waters of East Coast park, gazing at the endless rows of fleets blockading the Singapore seas. Watching the sun setting in the horizon. I thought to myself - "There's something icky touching my feet".

Apparently it was a seaweed. I kicked it away and continued my underwater stoning.

I sat on the wet sands, with the water at my neck-level for a good 15 minutes. All the while, it felt like forever. I was deep in thought about people, someone, and the stuff that's about to come.

I know this isn't East Coast Park. I didn't have a picture of the beach from yesterday, so shut up!

You see, I like to think. A lot. Perhaps maybe too much. I don't show it, but I do. I keep my thoughts to myself. Why? I had a harsh time growing up. I grew up in an environment where my opinions don't matter and everyone shoots me down for everything I say. So I could never really say I what I mean anymore after awhile.

In my head, lies a constant game of chess. Or any strategy game for that matter. I'm the kind of guy, who plans my moves waayyy before hand. I would play out any given situation in my head. And then think about the possibilities, the outcomes and consequences. The advantage of this is that I would come in real life ready. However, living this way for most of my life, I now see the flaws in this style. And it outweighs the advantages.

One thing, I would be ready and armed. I'll know my rotations of the words and actions to do when the time comes. Problem is, once that set is done, and I'm all out of cards, I'll be blanked. Unarmed, empty, and vulnerable. That's when things go wrong with me, and I fucking hate to be in that situation.

Another flaw involves the preparation. Thinking a lot is good. Thinking too much, will just get me killed one day. My thinking process goes something like this -

[Possibility]

- becomes-

[Idea]

- becomes -

[Possible Outcome]

- but -

[Plausible flaw]
- becomes -

[Consequences]
- turns -

[Plausible Problem]

- becomes -

[Chaos theory]

- ultimately -

[Failure to execute idea]

And the vicious cycle repeats.

It's actually much more deeper than that. But I'd rather not go into it so much.

I don't know why I do it. It just becomes instinct after going through a lot over the years. Both good and bad. Most of the time I would just go "Ah screw it" and I'll ignore everything and just go for it. And for the most part, the actual outcome of my supposed action would be far from what I would have expected. Sometimes better. Surprisingly, knowing this already I still have the habit of playing the guy who is tipping his toe over the edge of the Bungee platform, thinking if he should just go for it, try sitting and sliding down, or call it quits.

Nike is brilliant with their slogan - "Just. Do. It."

Guess all I need sometimes is a little push to get me going. And start thinking less negative and more positively, of course.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go over and sit in that corner and think about what I just wrote here.

BANDAID.

2010-04-16T22:19:00.000-07:00

No you

FUCK.

Cutest Days, Angsty Gays, and a Heroine in a daze.

2010-04-15T10:10:00.000-07:00

Life moves so fast.

One minute, the year had just begun. You're at the start of a new chapter. Before you know it, the first act ends. My second act is about to begin this coming Monday. I shall be a Year 2 Media Student. A senior. With juniors who would eventually call me douchebag and the likes.

But at the end of each "Act", lies a conclusion. Something that would link the future and the now. Mine ended with something I didn't had expected at all. Out of the shit that I may still be in, I feel I may turn out to be a better person or remain the same.

This holiday, I set myself to regain ground with old friends and strengthen current ones. I got back to my old NCC camp and it was a fucking hell of a night to be with the old gang once again.

I had a short (it was seriously short to me!) vacation overseas in the Land of Endless Cold, Yellow-filtered Marlboro Lights, Beautiful Women, and Teas & Biscuits. A.k.a London. AWESOME. My dream fulfilled to walk in the streets of England and come home as Paddington Bear (don't ask. Inside joke).

My parents

It was the best trip ever! I didn't feel lost there at all. Somehow, I could just as easily read their subways and maps. I could practically figure out where to go just as easily! Interacting with the people there were great too. Sure, I had to put up an accent sometimes. But it's so fun. They probably didn't suspect I was faking it. Maybe.

I friggin' went to every corner of London. The towns and suburbs (where the normal people are) and the high-class places (shopper's delights and tourist attractions and such). Emirettes Stadium, Stamford Bridge, Tower Bridge, Eye of London, Thames River, Kensington Palace, London Film Museum. It wus rather intriguing [/fakebritishaccent]

Oh, and I got into a fight with an old black lady. While shopping for groceries, I accidentally kicked her walking stick. I apologised, but she went berserk on me. Thinking I was some hooligan trying to cause trouble. I walked away with my head in shame. But so what? It was an experience, and heck, I'll never see her again anyways. Aha.

I came home and almost immediately began something new. I haven't forgotten about my CCA, StageArts Drama. Heck, I practically went straight for rehearsal right after I landed in Singapore. I just missed them all.

Oh yes I do.

After nights of tiresome training, finally managed to performed to a crowd of juniors. Our faces and characters will be forever (or at least until a certain point of time) imprinted into the minds of the younglings of SBM & SHS. (SHS can go suck a dick).

I didn't regret any of it! Seriously, we are now tighter than a pair of skinny jeans on a mat-rep. Fucking fun.

Believe it or not, my character is actually the "Hot guy".

During the rehearsals, I caught up with my fellow drama mates, and good buddy Fin. We talked and shared tales. I have never been one to open up, but he's a really great person to talk to. We're both Media Students, which makes speaking our mind out much easier. Dude, if you're reading this. You. Are. Fucking Awesome. (I'm officially coining the acronym YAFA).

And remember when I said I'm still in shit earlier? Well, let's just say - Mr. Feelings and Miss Jealousy, it's been awhile since they graced me with their annoying voices in me. Apparently, I've been noticing... certain people. What turned out to be a simple "Oh that's nice", became "Why am I thinking this way?!". It's, a little wounding right now since half of my mind keeps telling me it's probably gonna end up the same way again. It's no fair and fun but it happens to me. But nonetheless, who knows. She's nice, and I'll do something... Somehow. Gah. I've got an objective, and time is running out.

Anyways. School's starting. Holidays are ending. My GPA is bad (to me. yeah call me a nerd..), and my life is surprisingly unpredictable (No shit, Sherlock). Let's see where all the small things lead to right now. I know it's a journey to success, and I can already see the "Sssssssssssss".

Now buggah off.

Stealth is Key.

2010-01-12T07:45:00.001-08:00

If you know me, I have a thing for stealthy and sneaky acts. Dwelling in the shadows, blending into the darkness, only to strike when everyone least expects it.

This comic basically crossed all my favorite Stealthy Characters into one streak of hilarity.

In order of Appearance:
Altair, Sam Fisher, Solid Snake (Old), Batman, Robin ... I mean Spy.

I'm glad to see someone out there shares the same interests as me. Touche'.

"V" Headshots an Innocent Kid

2010-01-10T09:00:00.001-08:00

This is what happens when you're bored, and all you have is a ball, a baseball bat, a mask, and a camera.

Here it goes again

2009-12-31T09:03:00.000-08:00

Let me get this out before I begin -

Happy New Year!

Bitch.

So what can I say? It's been a nice year. 2009 was like the beginning of a new chapter in my life. No wait. It's an entirely different story of my life. And 2009 was only the first act of the story. Act Two is about to begin in 2010. Let's see how this goes, eh? For better or worst... Bring it.

So what have I done during this first act? Plenty. This year changed me a lot. In more ways than I every I could have imagined back in 2008. My attitude, behavior, style, habits, talking manner, and health has entirely changed from what I used to be a year ago.

First off now, my social circle has increased two fold.

Poly life exposed me to different kinds of new people. People I could relate with. People I could fool around with easily.

Before poly, I was more or less your typical average loser. Yes, you can see that from my older photos. I didn't talk much or do much and I'd keep to myself more or less. I still do that from time to time. But watching others around me, I've managed to pick up a few styles for my own and I've built my own personality. How did I put it to the test? Entering poly. And I dare say, I feel like a better person than before.

It's fun to meet new people. Not saying I would diss my old friends, they're still cool. Just that the new people I've met are much awesomer. It just made my whole poly experience a lot more enjoyable.

So speaking of poly, I think I've said enough just how awesome Media Studies is. Tiring, dreadful, and not forgetting stressful. But hell yeah, I wouldn't have it any other way. Maybe I was fated to enter NYP's Media Studies all along, and not Ngee Ann's Mass Comm. It was all part of the plan of a higher power above. I'm blessed and thankful for this. What's more I'm in the correct class, hanging out with the right people. I'll never be a social outcast ever again. Huzzah!

Oh, and I've lost weight.

Well, you see. All this time, I've been the center of every fat joke. I took this as way of motivating myself. One day, I just decided to fuck it all, and just shed those pounds. I've been running, gym-ing, playing sports, and doing every active thing I could think of for the past 4 months. So far, I've lost 10kg.

Before

After

See how I've changed? I like it. I don't mean to brag, but I just have to. I want to be proud of my accomplishment, and I'm still working on it. Hard work pays off, it's true ... I guess.

With that said, I'm not exactly looking forward to 2010. I more or less can figure out where I'm going and what might happen. But hey, in this world we live in. ANYTHING can happen. Nothing is impossible anymore. You'd never know.

Till then. Cheers.

[Insert Generic Holiday Greeting Here]

2009-12-24T07:22:00.000-08:00

(Deck the halls with boughs of holly fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)
(Tis the season to be jolly fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)

Outside the carolers start to sing
I can't describe the joy they bring
Cause joy is something they don't bring me

My girlfriend is by my side
From the roof are hanging sickles of ice
Their whiny voices get irritating
It's Christmas time again

So I stand with a dead smile on my face
Wondering how much of my time they'll waste
Oh God I hate these Satan's helpers

And then I guess I must have snapped
Because I grabbed a baseball bat
And made them all run for shelter

It's Christmas time again
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me
Please stay away from my home
If you don't wanna get beat down
Just leave the presents and then leave me alone.

Well I guess it's not cool to freak on Christmas Eve
Cause the cops came and arrested me
They had an unfair advantage

And even though the jail didn't have a tree
Christmas came a night early
Causes a guy named Bubba unwrapped my package (hot damn)

It's Christmas time again
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me
Please stay away from my home
If you don't wanna get beat down
Just leave the presents and then leave me alone

I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas
I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas (please post my bail)
I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas (please post my bail)
I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas (please post my bail)
I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas (please post my bail)
I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas

-----------------------------------------------
And a Happy New Year.

(Montage made by Me.
Pictures courtesy of Google, Izismile.com, Failblog, and my iPhone)

Am I Just Paranoid; Or Am I Just Stoned?

2009-12-08T23:39:00.000-08:00

It's been a rough week. Ain't it always? Hmm... I'm not gonna elaborate much on that, since it's so god damned cliched to bitch about all the bad things that happened to your life on your blog. I'm done with that. I'm just going to review these past few weeks, for the sake of reviving this dead blog of mine.

Alot of shit went down this month. For one thing, it's ICA week. Again. As usual. When will they ever stop? Ehhhh, never. The constant bombardment of work will never cease, especially in a coveted course like Media Studies. And Management.

This term (or semester, so far) has been a challenge. I've had more on my plate that I could have ever imagined, and most of it were either against me or not with for me entirely. It's hard to keep my cool, but sometimes my angst just gets the best of me. Throughout the whole week, I've had to go home from school at night.

The scene I visit every night since Sem 2 began.

The fun factor is there. How can you not have fun with the Army of Jubohs? Amirite guys? Haha. But, I've been drained to the point where sometimes when the guys crack jokes and would go on laughing, I just can't get into it. I'm just tired. Exhausted. My body is running, but my heart and mind are just running on reserve by now. But I'm still surviving and doing fine for the most part. Fortunately.

My good friend Aaron Mossadeg here seems to be doing fine, though....

Oh the jokes we have. We had this new one. Ever been to the Grinning Gecko, in NYP? I'm sure you'll be served by a nice uncle... but after ordering your meal of choice, he'll go on ahead and asking for either

a) Rice
b) Drinks
c) Sauce

Haha, he does it almost always. Even after you've already said what you want. It's hilarious.

Sadly, the joke died as quickly as it was born. I guess that's trends for you. They come and go just as easily.

So okay. ICAs. Everyone is tired of it. Moving on.

Secondly, I had to lead a ragtag team of Drama mates to do a 5 minutes mime skit for NYP's lunchtime performance. Easier said than done. Planning and executing the ideas took a toll on me. Not to mention, it was a near-last minute effort and the rehearsals and events coincided with my important schoolwork and presentations. We managed to pull it off. The main plot for our story was basically (don't laugh):

"The Vampires of Twilight, face off with Michael Jackson, in search of the Bandung drink"

There! You're laughing! I told you not to laugh. ):
It was a TOTALLY random idea that just popped out of nowhere. But we managed to rolled on it and with some work the whole act was actually pretty awesome. Too bad no one was there to see it. Guuuhh.

One thing I've learned when it comes to public events/gigs ... Never be the show's opening act. You're just gonna waste your effort.

So just right after that, my stage arts thing didn't quite ended just yet. We still had Alumni Night to settle. I didn't do much for this but follow orders. However, it was still painstaking and tiresome to come for rehearsals at odd hours during the worst possible days ever (one of the days I had to wear formal attire. So I had to prance around in a long sleeve shirt and formal pants throughout the whole day).

In the end the whole StageArts Alumni Night was a success.

Me and Fin being douchebags in the play

After it ended, it was like a huge burden just got lifted off my shoulders. And new ones being dropped on seniors.

Congratulations to Sarah Jane, Hazwan, Hanisah, Vicki, Nadirah, and Neela for getting a post in the ever exuberant StageArts. All the best in your endeavors to bring up the name of our CCA.

And with that, I'm already a Year 2 drama student person guy thingy....

ANYWHO!

Back to the month.

I entered a NYP Jam at the very last minute. Like really really last minute. Throughout the whole month or so, I've been telling people I'm not joining that competition. Why? I can't exactly find a proper band to play with. But at the very last hour of the audition day. I found an opportunity and a slot to fill. Encouraged by Seran, and remembering the Adam Khoo's motivational word poster thingy on my wall ("You HAVE the Power of CHOICE.... CHOOSE to Grab OPPORTUNITIES" ... Cute, right?) I didn't had a second thought. I went in, sang "Letters To You" by Finch, and came out happy.

Hey, at least I got to perform. I could care less about the 'getting through the next round' part.

As for gaming, Modern Warfare has got the most of me. Despite coming home at 10 or 11pm every night, I still find time to squeeze in an hour of gameplay. It's just too addictive.

Not my finest moment....

I'm Level 65 now. During the Hari Raya Haji weekend, I jolted up by 10 levels pretty quickly. And slowly, I've been going higher and higher. Some nights I get good kills. And some nights I don't. It really depends on my mood. It's a great way to let my daily stress out. Really let it out. Really, really let it aaaaaallllllllll out.....

Sometimes when I can't seem to get a kill, I'll scream and yell vulgarities, though within the volume boundaries of my own room. I may feel like shit, but after awhile it feels good. It freshens me up for the next day, you can say that.

I'm just five levels away from reaching Prestige mode. I can already smell it. But WAIT! What's this? I GOT A NEW GAME!? ALREADY?! NOOOOOOOOOOO.

Yes that's right -

I loved the first game, albeit it's repetitiveness. And so far I'm already loving this one. Oh boy, Modern Warfare 2 is facing some stiff competition to get my attention. And the holidays are coming! My social life is forever ruined once again. Thanks gaming.... Nah, just kidding.

Ah wells, I still have the remainder of this week to go. As Nick, from Left 4 Dead 2, would say - "I have not... Come this far.... To Die now".

I'll survive. Just one more measly presentation to do, and I can be lazing on my arse all morning, in front of my TV screen, and waking up at 3.30pm everyday. Till then... Cheers.

Spare me a dime.

2009-11-13T09:07:00.000-08:00

Here's a question. What's the top problem, every Youth, out there have today?

No, relationships are not what I had in mind. What I'm talking about is money. Yes, we've all been there, done that. "Shit, I'm broke" or "I'm gonna go work for extra pocket money".

The evil that the world revolves around every night

We, as youths, are ecstatic when we get hold on even an extra dime of cash. We go out of control, like as if we can buy the whole world with that amount of allowance our parents would give us monthly. Well to be honest, most things out there are pretty expensive. But to be even more honest, most things we want ARE these expensive stuff. It's a pity fact, but hey... We're young and we wanna enjoy with whatever we can before we are dragged into the world of the mundane.

Well speaking of money, I'm currently right now in a pickle. I'm in that state of broke-ness. So hey, welcome me into the club. This is kinda actually my "official" first time being totally out of cash. From the day I got my ATM card, I've been careful to not overspend at least have a hundred or two in my bank at the end of every month. However, lately, I've been a little too care-free. I mean, I don't even have money to buy lunch now. I'm dead serious.

But how the hell did I get here. From being someone who would always have an extra bit of cash on hand, to being completely broke until the almost-never-arriving coming month.

I don't shop a lot. Even when I do, I'll just get what I need or really really want. And done, I'll be on my way. Same for this. Just that, this time what I needed, was a bit out of my budget, and I blatantly closed an eye just so I can get it. All at one go. I wasn't patient enough. Or I had patience, but it was limited, and I ran out of it.

So over the past two months, shall we review my Statement of Expenses? (failed POA pun there)

ITEM #1
Rally Neosound Semi-Electric Guitar

Remember Margo? Well, she's yesterday's news now. Move aside Miss Telecaster, say hello to Lady ES335.

This baby cost me a nice $400. It's pretty cheap for a guitar, but $400 is basically 2 months of my allowance. It took me 7 months of planning to get this guitar and 3 months to save enough to get it. I've been wanting a semi-electric for quite some time now. It's true. Blame Foo Fighters, Blink 182, Marty McFly, and so on and so forth. It has a distinctive sound and feel to it. It just matches the way I play. And I'm loving it right now. Still, because of this guitar, it took a large chunk of my allowance away from me. It was worth it. More or less.

ITEM #2
Home Recording Equipments

The day I went to get Rally, I went all out on shopping. The reason why it took 7 months of planning was because of this. Since I was going to shop for music stuff, I thought to myself, "Hey, why not I just get everything I need for home recording all at one shot?"

Me and my brilliant ideas, eh? Well, I bought a Behringer Condenser Microphone, a Mic stand to go along with it, some cables and other miscellaneous stuff. It cost me a nice $200 plus in total. And I'm still missing a Mixer. God dammit. That's why I don't have any full recordings up yet. You can say, this project is still more or less in the making. And because of that blasted mixer, what was thought to be a Holiday self-recording home project, turned out to be just another delay in cog machine.

ITEM #3
Video Games

I'm a gamer. Watcha' gonna do about it? It's my bread and butter. Like a cigarette to a smoker, I enjoy gaming and I need it. It keeps me sane and entertain in those long periods of nothingness and puts my mind away from other things.

But, again like smoking, it's an expensive habit/hobby. Each game can easily cost a nice $80. Sometimes more. Depending on the console that is. For PC, it's much cheaper, but some games are better played with a controller, so they will cost more for the Xbox. Just recently, I bought the highly anticipated Modern Warfare 2, a game so good I'll review it on my own when I get the time. And pre-ordered Left 4 Dead 2, a soon to be released hit. They both cost me, give or take $150. Yeah, $150 for just two measly games. Crazy huh. But I know what you're thinking. I'm such a n00b. No one buys anymore, it's all about the torrents and rapidshares. Well, tell that to the developers who worked tirelessly hard to produced this game. The artists that worked overtime in order to get their concepts out before the deadline. The maketing team who spend a lot out of their own will to get their work known to the public. It's their job, and they need to get payed too. So by downloading for free, it's as good as making them work for free. And no one likes to do that, now do we? It's only fair, they deserve the same amount of respect they give us as their consumers.

So screw you piracy.

ITEM #4
Bus Concession/Transport Fares

Guuuh. This is the part of my spendage that I disdain the most. It's not that I want to pay for it, but I HAVE to. Otherwise, how the heck am I going to get any of my stuff anywhere? It's already sad, as a Poly Student, I'm paying full adult price for bus rides, and it's friggin' expensive. Seriously. I take the bus everyday. Usually, during secondary school $10 could last me for about 2 weeks. Now $10 can last be 5 days for bus rides. I need the concession rates in order to get my transport fix. It cost $50, and I'm paying it on my own. This was the latest thing I spent on. And after paying my concession for this month, I have officially become broke till god-knows-when.

ITEM #5
Driving tests

I'm not going to elaborate much on this, on the count of how embarrassed I am for failing the test twice. They cost $6 per test, and yet I'm too much of a Spongebob Squarepants to pass. How sad. I'll just continue to walk.

ITEM #6
Self-indulgence and Food

Food ain't exactly the cheapest thing anymore either. And so are stuff that I need to keep me satisfied, which I won't mention. But, it's not really a problem. It's when I buy stuff like a Venti Green Tea Frappachino from Starbucks that frightens me. But, meh. I'll be too busy enjoying the drink to care.

So that's about it. With that said, I'll be counting the days till I get a top-up so I can start saving up as per usual again. I've more or less got all the stuff I need. It's been fun spending. Now I'm going back to rehab and and I'll learn to save my moniezz again. Till then, I'll survive on food stuff from home, and not indulging myself too much. Cheerio.

FYI.

2009-11-01T09:23:00.001-08:00

Actually, there is a blog post I've been holding back since, well, last month.

It's a taboo subject, and it's basically my in-depth thought about it, since I'm now part of it.

But for the sake of keeping my reputation pure, I'll keep it confidential till I deem it safe enough to post, while still not lose the trust of a few good friends.

If you wanna read about it though, give me a nudge. I'll think about considering first though.

Cheers.

Just pretend I'm dead.

2009-11-01T06:06:00.000-08:00

Well hello there. It's been awhile hasn't it? Yeah, as you can see, I'm a class-A procrastinator. I've been wanting to update this dusty blog of mine, but every night it's "I'll do it tomorrow" and so on so for forth. But well, since I'm procrastinating my schoolwork, I can't be procrastinating with two things now, can I? That's just not fair. So let me update on what I've been up to.

Cue dramatic music.

What's new? School is back, that's for sure. Week 2's down, yo. Remember when I said "gah 7 weeks, what am I going to do?!".. well that 7 weeks just flew faster than Lewis Hamilton on the Singapore F1 Circuit. Before you know it, all of us were due back to school. And days prior were just as shitty.

The break was a feel good drag. I've done a lot during that 7 weeks, and it more less left a smile on my face. Only to leave me a little moody during the aftermath. I managed to go out with someone , took part in a theatrical production, played covers with Rachie :3, aaaaaaaannd spent more than $500 in less than hour on musical instruments and equipment. Huzzah. MLIA.

Oh and I even found out that I had a Spongebob green packet from Hari Raya!

AWESOME! \m/

So anyways, on the last week of the break we got our time table. I knew there was something fishy. Who would have thought, a whole school of it would swim through us. Night-classes are cool and all, but it's not cool to have a "Non-Media-Related" module end at 10pm, only to be followed by another NRM on 9am the next morning. When they said Semester 1 was a honeymoon, they weren't kidding. It doesn't help that the lecturer is a douchebag either. But, eventually, it'll grow on us. We have to move on and continue living. So shut the fuck up and let's work on our 4.0 GPAs.

Speaking of GPAs, I got a 3.167. There, I won't elaborate anymore on that.
Done.

So Semester 2 is running, and it's been okay for the most, except for Tuesdays of course. Some modules are more fun than others, and for our very first assignment from our PEM, Mr. Shariff (it's actually the first time we are interacting with him since SBM Orientation), was to make an introduction of ourselves through new media. And well, almost immediately, I had an idea in mind. After some scriptwriting and a day of production. This was what I came up with.

Enjoy watching me selling myself our for humor.

Of course, only Media Studies people might get half the jokes there. Inside jokes ftw.

So okay enough of school. Yesterday was Halloween. I didn't do shit, and it was a Saturday night. A dark and stormy Saturday night (how fitting). The first Saturday that I actually stayed home all day. It was weird, and I felt sad. Why? Everyone else had to rub it in by posting their Halloween party pics on Facebook. Sadface. Oh wells. At least the guys hosted an epic TF2 match. It made my day.

SO THERE. I MANAGED TO UPDATE THIS GOD-DAMNED WEBSITE. Awesome Ballzzzzzz. Now let me go back to playing Borderlands. This game is sick, yo. (sick as in good)

Rachie and Luqqie - "Everytime"

2009-10-09T09:02:00.000-07:00

enjoy.

For the record, it's just a joke.

2009-10-05T09:35:00.000-07:00

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhh ouch.

Freaking Driver.

2009-10-01T11:57:00.001-07:00

So I was going home today. From a nice day out with friends, and a really nice ending to the night that lifted my mood more than any of this week. I was walking home from the station. Minding my own business. Listening to my songs, while mouthing the lyrics silently to myself. I was about to take the staircase, I took a quick glance and saw my dad's car. Alright cool, fine. Then I realized, there was a friggin' taxi parked disturbingly close to it.

My first thought was that, "Okay, so maybe there's a guy waiting" because that spot is usually taken by people who are temporarily pausing their vehicles to await someone. But, the driver isn't present in that taxi. Shit. My dad is so going to be pissed off if he sees this.

I mean c'mon look at this:

my dad's car is the black (almost invisible one)

Take a look at that, and tell me that taxi isn't disturbingly close to my dad's car. It's parked at a very dangerous angle, and it totally blocked my dad's car from exiting the spot. What an ignorant bastard.

For all I know, he could have made contact with my dad's car and scratch it. But that's the least of my concerns. Thing is, my dad is taking the nigh shift for his job and he's supposed to leave in about an hour later (yes I did came home late, sue me). I can't imagine the rage he would go into when he finds his car in this position and he has to get to work on time.

He would have probably roared his lungs out in the empty parking lot and hunt down the bastard, and strangle him with his own bare hands.

It's scary to see how ignorant and inconsiderate people can be. Can't you leave your vehicle elsewhere and not block others? Didn't it ever occurred to you that perhaps the driver of that vehicle you're blocking might need to use it soon? I mean c'mon, I know the parking lot is full and all, but find somewhere else that won't hamper with anyone's personal space.

Fortunately, the taxi driver drove off in the nick of time, just when my dad was leaving home. I did alert my dad about the situation though. He wasn't too pleased to hear about it either.

Either way, I managed to take down the plate number of the taxi - SHB5334Z.
In the event that perhaps there are scratches or damages on my dad's car, I haz evidence to whom the culprit is.

Courtesy people. I thought Singapore is supposed to be filled with it. Apparently not.

I haz wood. lawl.

2009-09-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

Wanna see my wood?
It's hard.
And I just played with it.
It's fun!

Lawl, innuendos aside, I meant drum stick. Aha. It is made of wood, and .. it's hard. (Hurr...) I got it randomly from Bras Basah, and with the suggestion of Andrea because well 1) I needed drum sticks for jamming, and 2) the one she took out looked cool.

I never really had a chance to utilize it though. For 2 months it just stayed in my room. From time to time, I'd pick it up and do air drums just to get the feel of it and practice my sense of rhythm. But what's the point of that? Instead, I began trying to bang on some random stuff. That only made my mum mad. What, I can't even practice drums now? Okay fine, I was banging those stuff at 2am in the morning. Point taken.

It was an awesome looking pair of drum sticks! It was black with hot pink gradient at the top. Okay, I know that sounds totally gay, but when you look at it, it does look cool! Fo' shizzle.

But yesterday I went jamming, and finally got it to use. After the first few songs, I was shocked to find out that that my drum sticks have officially been ... ravaged. By the end of the session, this is what's left.

Nice wood, eh?

Lol, I never thought it would ever end up like this. I'm never buying coloured drum sticks ever again. But Luqman, you over caring newbie of a musician, they're just cheap drum sticks, and making it all damaged like that is good, like battle scars proving that you've been practicing a lot!

Well, for you experienced drummers, you know this a normal thing. But I'm still an amateur, so cut me some slack for being sentimental on my first pair of sticks. I'm sure you felt the same thing for your first pair of sticks.

It still works fine, but it doesn't look cool to bring it on stage and play with it anymore. Sadface.

Oh, Word of advice. Never start something you know you probably wouldn't stop. That is all. Remember when I said I quit? Apparently I suck. Now I feel bad for doing so. You probably know what I mean. Puff.

Forever in debt to your priceless advice

2009-09-26T04:15:00.000-07:00

As of now, I've been awake for almost 30 hours straight. My head hurts. I refuse to sleep. I'm not taking any chances hampering my bio-clock. I'll hit the sack in 2 hours time perhaps.

Why? I've just seen epic shit that will probably live as a vivid memory to all who had partake in the events of last night. I was merely a witness. It was fun enough.

Watching your friends in a state of delusion, confusion, and a little touch of madness is hilarious and all, but also leaves you an impression on them. It doesn't necessarily have to be a bad one. It's fascinating and entertaining.

I had a class chalet. The point of the chalet was to bond the class together and have fun together. You can say that's more or less accomplished.

It was a freaking fun night. We went swimming, played street soccer (literally), and the highlight of the night was the late night/early morning drinking session.

I didn't had a touch of liquor. My reasons as to why is strictly religious, so don't call me out as a pussy, you fuck face. Those who did took a major toll on themselves. It was entertaining to watch them. Watching them rambling on things that affected their lives. The people around them. How they're feeling. It was a high point in their lives, literally. The hours passed as they try to regain control of themselves and all I could do is sit back, take a smoke, watch, comfort them and mingle with the other sobers.

Before long, day break and everything was back to normal.

Oh and yes. I smoked. Nothing wrong with that. People have always smoked around me, so why not just give in. 'Sides, everyone's doing something out of the ordinary, might as well do something. But don't worry, as of 6am that morning, I officially kicked the habit. Aha.

It was a great fun, and the morning after was filled with simple conversations and long silences. After that, getting home was a bitch.

Guys, let's do it again. Pretty awesome, I must say. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Gay-lung, Slowing the Fast, and ODST.

2009-09-19T08:23:00.000-07:00

The grueling heat, the faceless crowds, the howls of sellers echoing through claustrophobic tents, the blurry smokescreen, the intense stench of sweat, cigarettes and cooked food, and not forgetting the disturbingly endless line of shops that sandwich a heavily trafficked road.

That's how I'll describe the annual Hari Raya bazaars at Geylang Serai. I hate stepping foot onto that place, especially during day time when we're fasting. It's a struggle to get from point A to B, and shopping is awkward (especially for clothes) with a million eyes watching you. I never been one for large crowds, except for concerts. I can't stand it. It's hard to breathe, let alone move. So whenever my parents offer a trip to Geylang Serai during this "festive" month, I lament. Fortunately, this year I only step foot on that dreaded place once. An improvement from previous years. Even still, I made sure we wouldn't stay too long inside. Gah.

Enough about that, Ramadhan is officially over. As of 8 hours ago (as I am writing this, it's almost 3am, yeah). Awesome!

Tomorrow (or should I say today), is Hari Raya. But frankly, I'm not really in the festive mood to fully celebrate Hari Raya all-out this year. Why? Don't know. Maybe I've been in school too long and not enough break to get me in the mood. Oh wells. Let's just get it over with, I want my break anyways.

So what have I been doing since Production was over? Gaminggggggg. Call me a nerd, geek, techie, whatever. I've been missing out on my gaming ever since school started. TF2 doesn't count. Finally got Batman Arkham Asylum, but the game refuses to let me play it properly. It keeps crashing all the time. Damn you Joker!

And speaking of which, I stumbled upon a Gaming Convention at Suntect City. GCA. Don't really know what it stands for, but whatever.

rawr

Point is, they showcased the latest games right now. Even Halo 3 ODST. Damn right, the most anticipated game this season.

They had a real Recon Armor on display! D:

I was awed by it. Unfortunately, all I could do was watch from the sidelines. There was a Demo booth for the game. But, it was hogged by 14 year old kids and their friends.

Little pricks.

Damn them. I stood there and asked politely if I could have a try. But no, they hogged the consoles as if it was theirs. You little pricks, it's a public demo, not your friggin' home. Let others try out. Go back home you fucktards. Seriously felt like punching them in the face. They stood there playing forever, ordering their friends around. I couldn't take it. After half an hour of endless waiting, I left the booth.

Instead I played Rock Band Beatles.

Woo, Beatles. Me and Khai tried it out. Him on Bass, me on Drums, and some dude on guitar. It was friggin' fun, though I nearly had carpal tunnel from playing the drums. Khai was having slight of a problem getting into the rhythm, but the dude who played guitar showed off his button mashing skills on expert, and I think he didn't miss a note. Wow.

So anyways, I better get ready for tomorrow. It'll be a long day. The only thing I'm looking forward to is meeting my cousins again. Other than that, meh. We'll see.

Fail

2009-09-04T05:31:00.000-07:00

Today, I got a call from an official number, and they informed me that I was selected to be a finalist and contestant for the show "Don't Forget the Lyrics" on TV. I was to go to the studio at MediaCorp this coming Monday. This made me very excited and so I told everyone about it. Five minutes later, they called back. Turns out, they got the wrong Luqman Hakim. FML.

It appears the holidays have arrived.

2009-08-27T10:16:00.000-07:00

SEMESTER ONE IS OVER.

Holy shit that was fast. When I said Poly life was fast, it sure as hell is. School almost just begun, and now it's break time.

Well, it's that time of the year again. To rot at home. That makes it twice. I already did my fair share of rotting from January till April. Two friggin' months of holiday seems pretty long, but I'm sure it'll fly by faster than a bullet-train across the English Channel.

So okay, exams were forgiving. Only because I studied. Yeah. Studied.

In your face Mr. John Ho.

I finally studied and understood your god damned module Now lay off me and quit targeting me. Lol. But don't worry, I don't hate him.. He's a cool guy. Just quit targetting me. Seriously.

Still, it's because of his constant nag and pin-pointing that got me all stressed up to study. I had less than two hours to cram as much information related to the 4 P-Marketing Mix thingy. I was this close to just giving up, but I'd rather suffer than repeat the module.

So what am I going to do to pass the time.. Currently, it's fasting month, so I am more or less restricted and obligated to not do some things. I'll probably drown myself in video games again. Speaking of that, I tried to play my Xbox now after not touching that bugger for almost a month now. Guess what, it friggin' Red-Ringed on me.

So what did I do? Called Microsoft. They did the necessary background checks (yeah, paranoid much?) and assessed my problem. The guy I talked to was nice. He sounded, soft and gentle but he was patient enough while I blabbered, bantered, and bitched about how the console was giving me a hard time. He asked me to some necessary steps, and it kinda worked for awhile. But ehhhhh, failed. The console died again, so I called up, coincidentally I got him again, and he registered me for an exchange.

Now I have to go to friggin' Funan with the heavy console on Monday. Anybody willing to follow me? I don't want to get weird looks in the train for carrying such a heavy bulk. I'll probably get stopped in the station to do a spot check, thinking I'm carrying a bomb. Yeah, a bomb. A bomb that costs me $400 and now about to be repaired.

Hopefully the exchange is a quick process. I heard they give out free 1 month gold subscriptions for Xbox Live. Awesome. Free. I love Free. 'Cause it doesn't involve money, unlike other Microsoft products. Hurrr....

Team Awesome

2009-08-18T10:21:00.000-07:00

What happens when you get a group of awesome guys, laptops, and a hard drive to share games? A friggin Lan Party.

And an awesome one actually.

When I first met these guys, I honestly didn't have a clue they'd be awesome gamers. I knew they play video games, but I was like, "Yeah, they play games. Cool. Would be cool if we could play some day,". And we sure as hell did.

For the most part, I kept my gaming passion a secret, to hide from coming out as a nerdy geek kind of person. But around these great bunch of people, there's nothing to hide.

Meet, Team MS0901

From left to right: Joseph, Seran, Russel, Shawn, Aaron, Hakim, Me

Picture editted by me. Dubbed - Media Studies Rangers. Faces belong to Media Studies lecturers respectively. Lol.

Inbetween breaks, after classes, or even at home when we're bored. Someone will call out - "TF2", and everyone will go unanimously "Seetttt!!!". Before long, we're all gearing our laptops for game time.

Mouse? Check. Power socket? Check. Hamachi/Garena? Check. Host? Check. Go Go Go!

And when we play, we play. For real. Like our lives depend on it. We'd shout out orders, laugh at our enemy's demise and stupidity, congratulate each other after each victory, suck in defeats and jeer each other constantly. It's always a thrill to be behind that laptop and playing with these guys. Sometimes during the heat of the fight, we'll even be serious to the point that even the slightest of mistakes or annoyance could tick us off. That's how much we're into the game. It's awesome. I wouldn't have it any other way.

At first we started playing Counter Strike. A simple game for the most, but it got old, boring and repetitive after awhile. When Hakim and Me introduced the rest about the wonders of Team Fortress 2, the whole gaming fad became alive and strong once again. Now, I've been playing TF2 since, well, Day 1. So, you can say that I'm a veteran. Introducing these guys the game puts a smile on my face. With the help of Hakim and his ability to outsource the game from the Video Game dictator, that is Steam/Valve, we were able to get a copy of the game each .. free. It's not piracy if the game has been modified to be able to play on multiple computers now would it?

So after boot camp, the guys more or less now know how to fight and play. After the first hour, it was like taking crystal meth for them. Before you know it, the first session was over, and everyone was hungry for more. They got better, and everyone now know what to do in the game like the back of the hands. That's where the fun begins.

BLU ftw

So we'll play and play. The longest one we've ever played was after our final presentation. Deprived of gaming due to work constraints, it was refreshing to finally do battle once again. Heck, we were so desperate, we had played all the way into the night until the school library was closing. The longest and most epic battle we'd ever played. Sadly, my team lost. Gah.

In fact, we just ended a session a couple hours ago. What holds in store for us gaming media dudes? What other games will we jump into the fray? Will this gaming fad last all the way till we graduate? Only time will tell. Till then, I wouldn't have it any other way. Awesome.

I Appreciate your Concern. You're gonna stink and burn.

2009-08-16T10:43:00.000-07:00

If you wouldn't mind, I would like to blew

If you wouldn't mind, I would like it lose

If you wouldn't care, I would like to leave

If you wouldn't mine, I would like to breathe

It's the end? No? Yeah. Not yet. I'm still not done. Well, most of it is anyways. What am I talking about. School work I mean. Yeah Yeah Yeah. You've heard it a million of times. Always bitching about the same old same old. School work sucks blah blah blah fooey. I just completed a marathon of presentations and an artillery barrage of assignments that didn't seem to end till late into the night. And it's pretty obvious, the shrapnel had hit me. Going up infront of your lecturers talking like some big shot (when you're not) and selling yourself for grades really isn't the way I had pictured presentations to be. It's like, standing infront of a firing squad. When they asked you a question, it's a full volley of bullets being shot at you. Whether you survive that fray, depends on how you manage to answer their questions.

More or less, I got through it all alive. Barely though. This past week made me realised something. I'm a hardworking son of a bitch. Remember how I always complain I'm such a procrastinator and shit? Well, looks like I've got the change I wanted. Over the few limited weeks, I've managed to squeeze in a shitload of work that I would usually take a month to complete. I've managed to single handed-ly complete a supposingly group work (this included a 1,500 report and mock up and powerpoint, which failed). A full storyboard with script. Code of Ethics and Journal Entries complete with arts and craft decorations. Report after Report. Powerpoints after Powerpoints. All done within that small period of time. I didn't relent. I just wanted to get them over done with. And I'm actually proud of myself. I always saw myself as a slacker. Always. Heck, I didn't do shit during secondary school. I almost never handed in homework. I guess change is here. NO thanks to President Obama. (random).

I guess this habit of sudden hardworking-ness kinda began ever since the term began. I remember, running around half of singapore to find a single DV tape for Abzul's class the next day. I promised my group I'd get it, and damn well I did. I went beyond the call of duty to find it. Aha. Even for the talent, I had to beg like a dog. Even that, I more or less failed. After that, I started to get my work done and going beyond just to get things done. I'd go beyond just to get stuff done. Even spend an extra buck or two.

But it's all done and over with. Just give my grades and I won't fight back. I don't want to think about it anymore. Bullshit.

On a happier note, I now have two As under my belt. Damn right son. My first As for Poly. First for Creative Thinking, the module I disdain, and another for Digital Film & Video Production. The first one was for a written test in which we had to argue with our own opinions. Honestly, I thought I would fail. I didn't study, not even a glance at the powerpoint slides graciously given by our dear Miss Soo. Still, I managed to argue my way enough to get an A. This is where blogging comes in handy then. Bitching about your day, it's almost like arguments. Without the constant use of vulgarities of course. The other A is for DFVP's ICA4 Drama production. Haha. I think I'm really getting into this film making thing. I honestly, had no idea how to make videos before I entered this course. All I ever though about was to become a writer. Well, that plan didn't quite worked out (I've been getting Cs for the writing module). Filming is cool shit, and editting is fucking awesome. It's tiresome, but satisfying at the end of the day. Of course, I couldn't have done it without my awesome team mates. Seran was in my group, and that practically gave us a much needed advantage. I still remember, just after getting our brief for ICA4, us guys were saying "We need 2 guys in a group, that way can own the ICA", and look at that. The theory worked. Awesome.

Well, I don't mean to brag. But seriously. I never saw each of these coming. I can back this up, by saying before I even knew about this, I was having the most shitty day. Ever. Hearing that I got an A just basically balanced my day. Or it could be karma. I don't know.

Firstly before knowing the results of the Creative Thinking written test. I had to wear my old NCC uniform and wake up early at 6am to visit my old NCC juniors and support them in their endevours as Guard of Honor. On the way to poly, apparently, Taxis like to avoid North Vista Secondary. I had to stand at the roadside in my stuffy army uniform for a non-existent cab for almost 45mins. I left early, in the end I ended up late. Best of all, I had no cash with me. The first chance I got a cab, I asked the uncle for Nets. He didn't have. I said it's okay, I'll just draw money when we get there and pay you. He agreed. When we get there, guess what. The fucking ATM at school wasn't working. So how was I supposed to pay the taxi driver? I was already half an hour late for class. I panicked, and had to ask a random stranger for cash. Thank his kind hearted soul, he allowed and I had to pay him back during the next school day. I managed to pay and hauled ass to class, only to be ridiculed for wearing a uniform. By classmates and lecturers alike. Damn Abzul.

For DFVP, the story goes like this. Remember when I mentioned I single-handedly finished a group work? Well, ironically, that group work was for Creative Thinking as well (see how much I disdain that class). We had a presentation last week. We had to present on something I alone made up. I already did the powerpoint presentation nicely the night before. I was so happy that I managed to finish a bunch of shit. Firstly, I was late again. Actually early, but since I had to go print the final mock up for the presentation, I was 5 minutes late. I had to sit outside of class and get my marks deducted. What a nice start to the day. When I did get to enter, I checked my laptop to prepare for the presentation. The friggin powerpoint was lost. How the heck are we supposed to present without a powerpoint? Fail on epic levels. I could have just breakdown then. I worked so hard only for my carelessness to get the best of me. Nice. In the end we had to present with a poor man's version of a powerpoint. But still, it was a life saver. Thanks Vanessa. At least we had something, eh? So we couldn't be as creative as we though we could be. Meh. So be it, what is done is done.

So yeah. That's basically my whole month or Term 2 in a nutshell. Well, a very big nutshell. I've done my blogging for the week. Only 2 more weeks and 2 papers. Once it's over. I'll start a new adventure. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to enjoy this brief moment of doing absolutely nothing at all, before I have to start rolling again. Cheers.

FEEDER

2009-07-30T07:15:00.000-07:00

OMG IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE UPDATE THIS AWESOME BLOG OF MINE.

DAMN YOU SCHOOL WORK AND ASSIGNMENTS!!! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL...

Watch this space. I'mma rant on more things to come

Omg Is that me with Short hair?

2009-07-14T06:25:00.000-07:00

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

------
Yes, yes I do have short hair now.

Cap that point!

2009-07-11T02:36:00.000-07:00

Today is a special day. Why? No, I'm still single. And it isn't just because I'm blogging once again. Today I am officially saying goodbye to my favourite cap ever. My NOD Military cap.

It has served me well over the years and been my trademark look ever since Secondary 3. But now after 4 years, I'm retiring it from duty and it'll be kept in my drawer and archived for the years to come. It's worn and torn and it's battle scars are becoming more prominent. It's best that I retire it before the whole thing is reduced to nothing more than a mere strand of cloth.

I just bought a new cap anyways. So no biggie. I wouldn't want to say that I'm replacing my favourite cap, that would just make it sound harsh. So lets' just put it as a retirement for my old cap.

So whats with me and caps anyways? So, okay, more or less everyone would have notice this by now. You will hardly see me around without wearing a cap. Yes, I love caps. I ALWAYS wear it whenever I go out. It’s a necessity for me, somehow. Haha, everyone has been telling me to take it off and just start wearing a proper hair style. But despite all that, I still persist on wearing a cap. I’m just too lazy to actually do my hair every day. I would just comb my hair normally, put on the cap (and maybe adjust my fringe so it won’t cover my face), and be all set to go out. The look fits me. In fact, I’ve made it my trademark look.

This cap-wearing addiction began long ago. I couldn’t stop wearing caps even when I was just a wee lad. My mum told me, that during my first Hari Raya that I ever celebrated as a toddler; my parents bought me a songkok (the malay traditional male head dress). They had me wear it for the whole first day of Hari Raya. And I never took it off. Not once. Not at all. Even when my parents tried to take it off, fearing that I would get too hot wearing it, they said I would resist even as a toddler. So I guess that’s how it all began.

After that, my parents would buy me caps. Actually, I have a bunch of them in my closet. Piled up and collecting dust. Many of them were actually given by my relatives, because they know just how much I love wearing caps. And since I was young, I was oblivious to looking good. So my parents would just make me wear caps on casual outings. Eventually I grew along with this habit. As I entered teenage-hood, the need to look my best was a priority to me. And since then I would always try to cap with my outfit. I’ve gone from normal caps to trucker/skater caps (those caps with nets at the back), and now what I’m wearing is what seems to be “Military”-styled caps.

The first impression everyone will ever get from me.

I don’t know. I just find myself feeling more comfortable wearing caps. Also another reason why I wear them is that I HAVE to flatten my hair. Without them, my hair would fluff out like nobody’s business and I would look horrendous. It happens all the time after I take a shower. I can’t keep it flat. So during my secondary school days, I would need to wear a cap every morning, just before leaving home, in order to keep my hair flat. But now in Poly, I CAN wear caps to school, so it’s more or less much easier for me.

Still, perhaps I should reconsider doing something with my hair, rather than just wearing a cap. I mean, sooner or later I’ll have to kick this habit in the working world. Haha, I’ll do something this long hair of mine. Oh, my hair length. Don’t even get me started on that too…

I will never be good enough for her

2009-06-29T21:54:00.000-07:00

Recently I've been,
Hopelessly reaching
Out for this girl,
Who's out of this world.
Believe me.

She's got a boyfriend
He drives me round the bend
Cos he's 23
He's in the marines
He'd kill me

But so many nights now
I find myself thinking about her now.

'Cause obviously,
She's out of my league
But how can I win
She keeps draggin' me in and
I know I never will be good enough for her.

No, no
Never will be good enough for her.

Gotta escape now
Get on a plane now. yeah
Off to L.A and that's where I'll stay, for two years.

I'll put it behind me(i'll put it behind me)
Go to a place where she cant find me. yeah.

'Cause obviously,
She's out of my league,
I'm wastin' my time
'Cause she'll never be mine
I know i never will be good enough for her.
No, no
Never will be good enough for her

She's outta my hands
And I never know where I stand
Cos I'm not good enough for her
He's good enough for her (for her, for her)

'Cause obviously,
She's out of my league,
I'm wastin' my time
'Cause she'll never be mine
I know i never will be good enough for her.
No, no
Never will be good enough for her

-------------

A direct soundtrack for me right now.... D:

Vidja Gaemz Laiv

2009-06-19T09:53:00.001-07:00

Guess what, I went to Video Games Live concert!

Thanks to my good friend Ananda who invited me along. Thanks a lot man, YOU ROCK!

And I must say, it was AWESOME!!

The screen was showing "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" .. LOL

The host and some models.. damn lighting

Oh and I bought a shirt too (cost me a friggin $35)

Basically it's a concert where some symphonic band plays all the music from Video Games soundtrack. Yup, games are not longer just about, well, the game. Even music now plays a big role in it. So okay I admit, I didn't exactly enjoy it totally. There were some games I've never even played before. Heard of, yes, but never touched before. So I didn't exactly know what I was listening to. Still, the performance was spot on, and the the crowd interaction was great. We got like, front row seats. Well not exactly front row, but we were damn close to the stage and we could see everything clearly. I didn't yawn at all. Now, if only they played the theme from Team Fortress 2. I would have jizzed in my Pants.

They played songs ranging from Metal Gear Solid to Super Mario Bros. to World of Warcraft to Castlevania and not forgetting - Halo.

Halo was the highlight for me, even though they didn't really emphasized on it so much. Oh well. Still, for some reason, some lame skinny-assed Master Chief cosplayer had to go prancing around. Lame. Lol.

As for refreshments, I totally got ripped off at the food stand. Like seriously, $6 for 2 cans of Iced Lemon Tea? $8 for a shitty Egg Sandwich that I could have made a bajillion times better with my eyes closed. What the fuck man. They know we need to buy food during these concerts, so they exploited this fact and purposely raised the prices sky high like nobody's business. Screw them, those Money-whoring sons of bitches.

Also, for some reason, they allowed my camera in. At first I was nervous that they were gooing to take it away (like during the MCR concert I went to, they confiscated my camera away from me), so I tried hiding it deep inside my bag, underneath my hoodie. I tried to not let the guards see as they were checking my bag, but nonetheless, they stripped it empty and found the video camera. To my surprise, they let me off with it. Haha. When I got into the hall, everyone had their cameras. It's weird, I thought big concerts like this would not allow the use of cameras. If I knew I could bring my in my video camera, I would have brought along my tripod. Seriously, holding a camera and recording the performance while trying to watch it myself can get really tiring after awhile.

Still, I managed to record a few performances. I only recorded the prominent ones, and songs that I actually know of.

I'll upload them and post them on another day.

In teh m3an tiem, I'mma go pley sum h3 fr abit kthxbai

AWESOME

We're alright where we're supposed to be.

2009-06-17T09:39:00.000-07:00

Oh snap

...

I'm on a long road to ruin.

I've been happy when I want to be sad.
Sad when I want to be happy.
Serious when I want to be a joker.
A jester when I need to be focused.
Sarcastic when I want to be straight-forward.
Apathetic when I need to be sympathetic.
Crazy when I need to be serious.

You get the idea. Basically, I jumble up all my emotions and personalities and I can't seem to always draw the correct one in the right situations.

This is, actually in-fact, awesome. As it makes me random. But on the other hand, it makes me look like a dick at most times. The fact it does annoys me. But I can't seem to STFU. And I'm too apathetic to do anything about it. At least people are kind enough to put up with my douche-baggery. And for that, I thank you all. I'll treat you something to make up for it. Go redeem your free drink from me after reading this.

-----

I spent the whole of last night jamming to The Beatles. All the way past 2am in the morning. I had my amplifier out-loud, and my windows opened. Usually they would be closed, but on the count that my air-conditioner is currently as good as a blow dryer on Hot setting. Until I can get it back to actually blow out some Cool air, I'm resorting to putting a fan in-front of my face. I'm staring at it right now.

So anywho, I played songs from The Beatles all the way past 2am in the morning. For some reason, The Beatles are really fun to play. Ever since I heard they'll be doing a Rock Band Beatles game, I got hyped for the band.

The trailer had some sweet tunes. I've listened to the Beatles before (Sgt. Pepper and the Lonely Hearts Club Band, ftw), but wasn't really into them. But after watching the game's trailer, I started researching more of their other songs. And they're so cool. Their older songs are so cliche and cute, and I'm guessing that's why they're so cool. As the years progressed, so does their music. And I can tell the difference between McCartney's and Lennon's song writing. McCartney's gravitates more towards the good ol' Rock N Roll, while Lennon is a random bunch of hippie music (a.k.a Music you make when you're High). Go listen to "I Am the Walrus" and I dare you to tell me straight in the face that he didn't wrote it while he was high. I Rofl-ed.

So after listening to a bunch of them, I started trying out playing some. I managed to improvised some songs on my own (improvised the solo for "I Saw Her Standing There"). "Back to USSR" is so far such an awesome song to play and listen to. It's so sweet, it's really what you call old school Rock 'N Roll. Aww yeah.

So yeah, I just played and played. Because I was bored, and I just needed to. I'm already not performing for "Band Out", and I'm pissed. So I'll just continue playing by myself. It's a wonder how none of my neighbors or my parents complained about the volume, especially when it was already so late into the night. It's probably because either they were all dead asleep, or were enjoying what I was playing - the nostalgic sounds of the Beatles ... lol.

2009-06-13T08:51:00.001-07:00

Well, she was just 17,
You know what I mean,
And the way she looked was way beyond compare.
So how could I dance with another (ooh)
When I saw her standin' there.

2009-06-11T05:17:00.000-07:00

I desperately want to play this..

On stage, in the studio, at someone's home, ANYWHERE.

Please, will anyone jam this song with me... PLEASE

A Fire burns today

2009-06-07T09:25:00.001-07:00

Before I Begin.

Happy 3rd Birthday Adib Numan, my little nephew! :3
Aww.. we wubbs his cake...

Also, random cousin/nephew shots.

This the week that I, more or less, got stuff done if not fully completing them. This is going to be the last week of school, and then, huzzah! Term break. It's like seriously damn fast. I've just met these bunch of people and holidays are coming again. I got an upcoming camp, and I think my old school's NCC are going to have a camp too. Not sure about when is that though. Maybe it's already over for all I know. If it is, I'll be damn sad 'coz I have plans for the things to do during the camp. Like seriously, and watching porn in the school canteen at 4am in the morning is not one of them.

Don't know what I'm gonna do during the holidays though. Most likely, I'll just waste it as usual. 2 weeks may sound long, but god damned is it friggin' short. But, it'll allow me to sleep in late again. Awesome.

So my week in a summary? Well. I got work done, more or less. I bought a new guitar amplifier, thanks to Khai again. Funny story, I thought the person I would be dealing with would be a guy, because it's always a guy usually. The person said that they'll drive all the way to my place to make the exchange on the night itself. So I made my way to the ATM and back in a hurry, and to my surprised, it was a girl. Wow. She was nice, and though the exchange was brief she made constant assurance that I could contact her anytime if there was a problem with the guitar amplifier. Haha, it was a nice surprise I guess. She was cute too.. but probably much older, lawl.

Oh, and I helped Hakim buy Team Fortress 2. Spreading the love of 2fort. I jumped from Sengkang to Bishan to Funan and back. Nowhere had the game. Well, they HAD the game. But everywhere it was sold out. Seriously, wtf. A Week ago I just saw it sitting on the shelf. Because of the damn Spy/Sniper patch, everyone was probably liek "MMUST GET TF2", and so they did. Eventually I found one for Hakim at Sim Lim Square. Got free pins while we were at it. Now I can stab his nooby, pyro-loving, heavy-wielding ass anytime. Awesome. He's becoming my close-friend in poly. Most probably because we're like the only malay guys in class. Chinese/Malay to be exact. So, kinda like brothers. Lawl.

So okay, I've done my blogging for the week. Good night. I need to study marketing now or Mr. John will HOedown my ass during the written test. Get it? Hahahahahahahah... Neither does your face.

I don't know why

2009-05-30T02:58:00.000-07:00

Monkey see, monkey do
Rather be dead than be cool
Every line ends in rhyme
Less is more, love is blind

Give an inch, take a smile
Fashion shits, fashion style
Blow it out, keep it in
Have to have poison skin

Stay Away

Time means nothing

2009-05-29T09:16:00.000-07:00

Dammit, doing ICA's sucks.

Okay fine, it's not the ICA's fault. Mostly mine. I've been slacking my ass off when I'm not supposed to. Like today, when everyone's doing their work for Week 8's assignment, I spent the whole 4 hours of break playing CS. Haha. What the hell is wrong with me, like seriously. I basically screwed up my Creative Thinking ICA. Screw that. Filming had the potential to go wrong, and at some point it very damn well did.

I'm just happy I managed to get through everything with a smile. I have my friends to thank for that. Awesome people.

Weekends are here again. Damn they come and go so fast. It's like, we just ended Week 6 of school. Six weeks of school, that's more than a month. And it feels like we just started. It's disturbingly moving too fast. During secondary school, it feels like forever just to get a weekend. Now it feels like a breeze. Too fast perhaps. I've got enough work on my hands, the extra time would come in handy thank you very much. Okay who am I complaining - I have the time, I just suck at managing it. I suck. I procrastinate too much. Too fucking much. I want to do my work, but when my mind is block, I just have to do something to unblock it, and that something is always unrelated to my work. Dammit!

I've been saying sooner or later I have to learn to stop, but I can't. Too much noise at home. I miss the days where I would go out to study. I made much more progress studying outside than studying at home. Too bad.

---------
Summary of Monday's Vivo outing

Outing was fun.
Friends are fun.
Cake was cheesy (literally)
Dares were weird.
I took one for the team, half me enjoyed it, half of me found it awkward.
I sucked too much.
Going home late was sweet.

Done.
-----

Oh I've been working on a personal song too.
It's not fully done, since I've only wrote like 50% of it.

But here's a sneak peek:

It's been three days
since you've said goodbye
i took a long look
at your alibi

I saw what
I should have seen
And now I'm
Taking a deeper scene

It's not over Even
When it's not Begun
The stereo inside me
Telling tales

Could I be
Should I See
The way they held me

It's not over even
When it's not yet begun

It's basically in the key of "Em", with slight variations.

Taking my time to work on it further.
-----------

There, I've done my blogging for the week. Yay.

2009-05-27T05:11:00.000-07:00

Someone said I'm in the wrong place

I better leave

Homeworks

2009-05-24T00:34:00.000-07:00

Today is Sunday.

Also known as, "Do Your Homework" Day

And I've been doing just that. I have my marketing presentation done.
Done, done, onto the next one.

I'm going to start on Chong's ICA, because I still have no idea how to do Miss Soo's ICA (even when it's due on Thursday and Intro's ICA is due 12th June)

If I can get enough things done today, I'll treat myself something nice tomorrow.

...

Oh also, Happy Belated 18th Birthday to me.

How forgetful of me, I forgot to even wish myself happy birthday.

After Hours

2009-05-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

I've just had the longest weekend ever.

Well, it felt long to me.

So much fun.

I'm so happy.

For this first time in this whole week, I don't feel moody at all anymore and don't feel the need to cling on other people to distract myself. I feel awesome.

Now I have work, thanks.

Margo <3

2009-05-16T09:36:00.000-07:00

Meet my new love
Margo.

It was love at first sight. We met, we touched, and we sparked.
She's the one I've been looking for.
And finally, we are together.

She's
Cute,
Gorgeous,
Beautiful,
Lovely,
and drop dead Sexy.

I'll treasure her like no other.... <3

Enough with the words, we shall let pictures do the talking.

Behold, my new love...

Yep, a beauty ain't she?

Haha.

....

Finally got a new guitar. I sold off the one I had, 'coz I bought it wrongly. Long story. I'll tell it another time. With Khai's thoughtful advice, I finally decided to take this baby home.

It's growing on me and real nice to play on, even though I'll look kinda weird playing grunge music with it. Still. Can't wait to let her have some stage time of her own.

She's named after Margo Roth Speigelman, from the book "Paper Towns" by John Green. She was my favourite character out of all Mr. Green's stories, so I thought, why not name this new guitar after her. I'm sure I can find many things in common with the guitar and the real Margo from the story. Haha.

Cheers.

Also, Bangkutaman was awesome... \m/

Hey There

2009-05-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

It's impossible

I cant let it out

You'll never know

Am I selling you out

I'll sit and watch

Your every move

l'll be coming home next year

2009-05-09T11:55:00.001-07:00

On and On, I've got Nothing to Hide

2009-05-08T09:03:00.000-07:00

HEY.

WEEK 3 has ended. Happy? Perhaps. It's been a teaser of stress for the past few days. I say teaser, because it's still far too early to say it's too hard yet. Emotionally, Mentally, and Physically tested this few days. Deadlines? I got them covered. Group-work? Done, on to the next one. ICAs? I'm on it.

My moods have been on a roller-coaster ride lately. I could be happy as fuck in the afternoon, and emo as fuck in the evening. I've learn to grow fond for some people so far, and it's awkward. Sometimes. But, I'm not gonna do anything stupid, because honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, I know where that road ends. I'll stay who I am. A psychotic, half-assed enthusiastic, lame-joke-making, underrated, happy guy. Who is single.

Basically, I've done all my homework except for the tutorials. Currently, I'm more focused on completing my assignments (which usually involves a lot of writing) and ICAs. I feel reluctant to open and read up on Marketing. I know it's a tough subject that I need to focus on, since there's an actual written exam for it. But I just can't give a fuck right now. I'll do what I have always done, last minute work. The probability of that ending well for me, is well, half? I like it that way.

Monday's the first ICA ever. Business Presentations. I'll revise my speech and rehearse it over the weekend. I really want to ace this. I really fucking do. I did not just won an inter-class Speaking Competition in Secondary School for nothing. I did not just enter Speech and Drama classes for nothing. So, technically, I've had training. It's cheating, but big whoop. All the better for me to ace it. WHICH I NEED TO.... Also, I wanna wear something nice on Monday, on the count that I might be chosen to present on that day. Either way, I'll wear something much more formal on both days. If it wasn't for the hot weather, I would actually be excited to do this,

But for now... GIVE ME MY WEEKEND BITCH
----

On an Unrelated note, I left the lecture theatre as soon as possible without even saying goodbye to my classmates. Why? 'Coz if you were busy enough to read my twitter updates, you'll know I had to meet my good friend Clarissa. It's seriously been awhile since I've seen her cheery face! Hahah. I owed her a Starbucks "date" anyways, for some unknown sudden reason, which I don't even know why. Hahah. So we met and started talking about how we've been and sharing secrets and of course cracking jokes. I was telling her how much of a tease Media studies was, that it was actually more than just writing, and it's full of intricate and complex topics that I would have, honestly, never see coming at all. Well, at Starbucks she wanted to do study and do homework, but, since I technically had nothing to actually "study", I just surfed teh internets. I could have done my tutorials, but screw that. I'll do it when I feel like it... :P

After awhile, we decided to chill around the Waterfront and watch this soothing upbeat 2-man band from Philippines.. Okay it was a Guy and a Girl. Their music was great. Gravitated more towards the instrumental side though, but I liked it. It felt like it had a blues and pop feeling. Their songs were nice to listen and relax to. Now, if only I can remember the band's name.... heh. We sat there listening together. Haha...

After short dinner, made our way to HMV. Oh god, I found this cool Nirvana and Foo Fighters shirt. Fucking tempted to buy it. I had the money, but I felt reluctant to use it. They were expensive. Dammit. Next time.

It was a nice night. Can't wait to hang out with her again! :D

Following pics, courtesy of her and benjamin... LOL

......
--------------------------

All my life I've been searching for something
Something never comes, never leads to nothing
Nothing satisfies, but I'm getting close
Closer to the prize at the end of the rope

Hooo

2009-05-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

I just need to scream and sing again soon.
I want to scream in front of the Mic again.

I just need to do it again now, for some reason

"/

I'VE GOT ANOTHER CONFESSION TO MAKE; I'm no fool....

IS SOMEONE GETTING THE BEST, THE BEST, The best of you

D:

Smells like ME Spirit

2009-05-05T08:09:00.001-07:00

OKAY THIS ONE IS FOR YOU DOREEN.
Hahaha!

'Sup, this has been an awkward yet amazingly fun two weeks of Poly so far.

Doreen is, full of funny? Haha, I know her facebook ethics all too well already, and I blame her for not making me pay attention during Monday's lecture! DX

Haha, we practically chat the lecture away, now I feel bad for Mr. Chong.

Our love for Bandung bonded us together... LOL!

And guess what, Homework has become a norm for me again. It's awkward, because I've been living off being lazy for 6 months, and now I actually have essays and tutorials to write. Cool shit? Perhaps. I'm not really sure, since I have been procrastinating (don't I always?) as usual. It took me a whole night, to finish writing an article. Wtf is wrong with me. Sooner or later, I have to stop procrastinating...

'Sides work, I've gone for CCA auditions. Drama was... awkward? I'm not one for bitching, but seriously. The people there were, weird. They were those divas-ish kind. Making noise, and for everything said, they always havea witty come back. There's a line between being fun and enthusiastic, and being annoying. They've crossed to the latter, imo. Rachel and I, were like "Okay, what the hell did we just stepped into?".. haha. But the audition was fun though. They got me to sing. I didn't really know what to Sing. So I just went along with Green Day's "Time of your Life". I did, okay I guess. I got in the club anyways. Yay?

Another audition today for some NYPTV Host thingy. I fucking screwed up lah. I'm so sorry Shar. She was all enthu and happy-go-lucky, and I was there stuttering the words. Gah, I suck.

So far school's a blast. I've only been late.. twice. Damn 72. Dammit. And both late days were on a Monday! I went out of my home early as always, but 72 will either be always full or slow. The first time around, 4 busses just deliberately refused to board me. Seriously! Then yesterday, the bus did came early. But the Traffic was as slow as two old people having sex. For every 30seconds it move, we had to wait for 5mins of no-moving. Fortunately, Mr. Crispy (Chris Pang, btw, hahaha) is an understandable guy. He's nice, I like his module.

Also, while writing this post, I am currently procrastinating not doing Mr. Azhar's work... how awesome can I be... |:<

---

HERE WE ARE NOW; ENTERTAIN US

Dontwanttobeyourmonkeywrench

2009-05-02T11:14:00.000-07:00

OnelastthingbeforeIquit
Ineverwantedanymorethan
Icouldfitintomyhead
Istillremembereverysingle
wordyousaidand
allthatshitthatsomehowcamealongwithit
stillthere'sonethingthatcomfortsme
sinceiwasalwayscagedbutnowimfreeeeeee

More like the Evolution of Grunge

2009-05-01T10:59:00.000-07:00

About a Girl

2009-04-30T10:24:00.000-07:00

I need an easy friend
I do, With a ear to lend
I do, Think you fit this shoe
I do, But you have a clue

Take advantage while
You hang me out to dry
But I can't see you every night. Free
...I do

I'm standing in your line
I do, Hope you have the time
I do, Pick up number two
I do, Keep a date with you

Take advantage while
You hang me out to dry
But I can't see you every night. Free
...I do

H

2009-04-27T07:25:00.000-07:00

I honestly got nothing to say again.

Just felt obligated to update.

Poly is fun.... aaaanndd... tiring. Isn't it always? Pfft...

I wanna do stuff

Long Road To Ruin

2009-04-25T22:12:00.001-07:00

Currently getting high on this

The Morning

2009-04-25T06:43:00.000-07:00

Chapter 1

The morning rose to an orange theme, as Leo awoke from his slumber. As he raised himself from the squeaking bed, he paused for a moment. Gaining conscious, while trying to refocus his mind for the day. He turned his head and saw the dawn broke. He awoke a little too early, for his taste. His mouth dry, and his head still hanging high from the sleep, Leo pushed his skinny self off the bed.

He wasn't particularly glad about the day at all. In fact, he had longed abhorred the day since almost twelve hours ago. Reluctant to move out of bed, he amassed all the strength he had in him, just so he could stand up only to fall back onto his bed with a thud. He shut his eyes once again, and in hopes of being able to sleep the day off. But he couldn't. Almost immediately, his phone rang across the dusty room.

"Not now..." Leo groaned. Of all the times phones have to ring, it would always be when you're at most vulnerable. Always while you're doing something that’s most important to you. Never when you’re just sitting there, doing nothing, figuring out a solution to our boredom state. Leo thought, as he ignored the phone and drifted himself back to sleep. He cancelled out the noise in his head and tried to get more shut eye. Eventually, his seemingly epic Battle of Will was lost, when he couldn't stand the ringing phone anymore for the third time already. Forcing himself out of bed, he zombie-walked to his phone, half-heartedly picking it up.

“What..?”

“You ready, bro?” an enthusiastic voice burst into the receiving end of his phone.

“No. I’m not actually.” Leo replied, his voice sounding bored.

“Aww, you’re gonna feel so wrong after we’re done. It’s going to be so much fun. So many awesome, and I mean AWESOME stuff to see and do man. So, see you at 10, at Macks, right?” Andy said. For some reason, he being so enthusiastic over the phone did not appealed to Leo at all.

“Yeah, yeah. Fine.” Leo reluctantly said.

“Oh yeah, don’t forget that disc bro. I really need it, ASAP. K, see ya.” Andy said and hung up.

Andy had been Leo’s best friend ever since he entered Secondary School. He had more friends, but Andy had always been the one he’s very close to. But for all the years of knowing him, he could not understand why the heck he would be so excited over a trip to a local Farm. It’s just a farm. Where animals and people live, helping each other, apparently. But nonetheless, a farm. What’s so special about it? It’s not like as if they were going to the Louvre Museum in Paris, or the Sydney Opera House, or SeaWorld. Leo couldn’t care much for that anyways. He dragged himself to the closet, picked up a fresh towel and hastily made his way to the bathroom, realizing that his urge to pee is now none other than his highest priority of the day, besides the farm.

***

All morning Leo spent his time packing his backpack. He grabbed an extra bottle of water from the kitchen and threw it in. Placed his Nikon D300 Digital SLR camera snuggly into a special compartment of his bag, and even decided to bring a book which he probably won’t ever bother to read. He debated whether he would rather bring along his Playstation Portable or Mp3 player, but eventually decided on the latter, on the count that he’d rather have music blasting through his ears to get through the day in one piece. He checked and rechecked his belongings to ensure nothing was left behind. Like that time when he went out camping for a week, and he left his entertainment devices at home. He barely made out of the forest sane.

Now here’s the thing with Leo. He’s you’re typical City boy. Obsessed with gadgets of the latest kind and surviving in the comfort zone that is the 21st century. So perhaps that might explain his disdain of going to a farm, where he would have to leave the realm of his own comfort zone.

He left home alone, as his parents had already left for work earlier. The walk to the bus stop was fairly short, and he waited for almost 10 minutes for the bus. He placed his headset on his head and hooked it to his ears, as it was designed for. Switched on his Zune Player and saw that Rise Against was the last thing he listened to. Feeling lazy to look for another band, he just pressed play and let the heavy punk riffs of Rise Against blast his ears.

That’s how we’ll know, this is not a test!
We’ll know, this is cardiac arrest!

The song played. That was the only part of the song Leo could grasp, since it was catchy enough to memorize. The rest of the song was a garbling mix of screaming, screeching guitars and pounding drums. He didn’t care. He actually liked it, for the tunes made him feel much away from his apathetic self.

Writings

2009-04-25T06:39:00.000-07:00

So okay, I've said before that I've been writing during the holidays.
It's not much but I've put a lot of effort refining each chapter.
So for the next few weeks, I'll post a chapter of the story I've wrote.

It's called "The Morning"

I'm not quite sure what it'll be about, but I have the story already written in my head.

Enjoy.

Haircut Numero Dos

2009-04-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

Remember when I said I wasn't going to get another haircut ever? Well, I lied.

I just did.

behold my gayness

Mostly a hair-trim actually. You see, the back of my hair was annoying me for weeks now. Coz' the rest of my hair is pretty short (okay, except for my fringe). And the back of my hair was growing exceptionally long. My hair totally look unbalanced and ugly. Had to go trim it, and trimmed my fringe while I was at it. Now my hair looks much much better though. I look snazzy if not sexy. Hahaha, lame. |:

Now I have to figure out what to do tomorrow. It's a Saturday. It's not like I've got nothing to do. It's that I've got too many things to do. An outing, a match, a meeting, and a gathering. Gah. I have no idea which to prioritize or go for Seriously. This is unfair. Why couldn't have these things happened during my break WHEN I HAD NOTHING TO DO. Why do you torment me so. Dammit.

----
Ps. Poly is awesome. I feel so different from secondary school. SHALL BLOG ABOUT IT TOMORROW. GAH, another thing to do tomorrow. FFFFFFFFFFFFFF----

Yeah Awkward

2009-04-23T09:16:00.000-07:00

To be honest, I don't know what to write.
But I feel obligated to write anyways.
'Coz today feels so empty.

I'm having a good time in school. Good people. Yeah.

But sometimes, my mind and mood would just switch back and forth. For no reason? Haha yeah, I'm weird that way.

To be honest, sometimes I feel like smoking. You know, taking up a bad habit. So I can get my mind off stuff I don't want to think about and only feel good all the time. But that's never gonna happen. Apparently....

I'm happy now, just that when I think too much I get all apathetic and boring. I'm sorry.

I'll blog about something important soon. This has been an awkward post to write anyways.

Pointless post is pointless.

2009-04-22T08:44:00.000-07:00

Oh god, this is weird.

I'm friggin' tired, I just want to sleep. At the same time I want to go to school, have fun, be early, and all that bull.

This feeling was never in me during Secondary school. Never. I abhorred going to school during those years.

Gah... back to doing my homework... watching TV. Project Runway, lawl

Ya your post was interesting Rachel. Be Happy.

I wonder..

2009-04-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

Thought I ran into you down on the street

Then it turned out to only be a dream

I made a point to burn all of the photographs

She went away and then I took a different path

I remember the face

But I can't recall the name

Now I wonder how whatsername has been

...

The regrets are useless in my mind 
She's in my head 
From so long ago

Where Have All The Bastards Gone?

2009-04-20T04:18:00.000-07:00

The End... Reset

2009-04-19T06:15:00.000-07:00

Hmmm...
So this is how beginning again feels like. I missed the feeling. Last I felt this was five years ago. My 6 month break has officially ended. It was fun while it lasted. I've done so much, yet so little. Felt so alive yet so empty. It was a break well spent, if not fully wasted. Secondary School is now but a memory. I joke about not wanting to go back all the time, and how I despise the system. But to be honest, looking back it's where all the good times happened. All the fun happened. All the stories happened. All the pain, the struggle, the fights, the insecurities, the troubles and all the bullshit that was thrown in my face happened. You know what? It made me stronger. I was never like this before. I was quiet, which I still maybe, but I'm different now. I feel better in a sense, if not perfect. Secondary school changed me alot, no small part due to my friends, whom I will miss. I will treasure the times I've had. Forgive and forget all the bullshit I've done. And Remember the mistakes I've made.

And so tomorrow begins anew. Finally, I'm in a tertiary school. I've met some cool people, and I am very much looking forward to studying and working with them. Let's go.

***

Spending 6 months at home isn't as fun as it sounds like. It's a total bore, and the way I lead my life during the months is kinda lame. So this is so far what I've done. A retrospective, if I may.

I met a special someone. I fell in love. For real. I really did. It was the epitome of my happiness. But out of it in the end, it didn't quite ended the way I had hoped it would be. The memory still burns in my mind. I broke. I felt confused. I didn't want to be sad, but didn't know how to be happy either. I kept it to myself. But I've moved on since. I don't know about her. She looks like she's having a much more splendid time with other people if not someone else. I try not to think anymore. Even if the feeling for her is still there in me, I know I can't open myself the way I did again. It won't be right. So I moved on to other things. As Alfred from "Batman Begins" puts it ... Why do we fall down? So we can learn how to pick ourselves up.

I've tried finding jobs. A failed attempted that lasted for 2 months. I had a few friends with me. We tried but failed. No one wanted to hire us. How sad. During December and January I basically spent everyday going out job hunting, but all positions were filled, since EVERYONE else had already been hired. I gave up eventually though. Jobless. When everyone else had a job and boasting just how much fun they're having. Gah!

So stuck at home with nothing to do, and an empty feeling that drives me mad and confused everyday. Hmmm....

But I did managed to entertain myself to appease the feeling and boredom. I game. I read. I played. A good thing I had Xbox Live. I entertained myself by playing everyday. Made a few good contacts with a few friends online. They're cool to play with, but I couldn't interact with them much. I read books. Lots. The Library technically became my second home. The stories I've read are still engraved deep in my head. I remember everything, it was a fun experience. I missed reading books. Story books, not textbooks. Heh.

During the whole of the break, I've have watched a total of at least 12 movies. Mostly with her. Maybe even more. I kinda lost count. I grew fond for the movies and eventually started to enjoy any form of movie, even if the story was cliched and predictable.

I wrote songs, I practiced my musicality. It's still kinda weak. I'm not a pro. I doubt I'd ever be. But I've learned a few new things, which others have probably mastered it long before me. I've wrote at least Two and Half songs. I only deem one of them good enough for showcasing. If you're counting my originals, I've at least covered more than 10 renditions of other songs. On acoustic though, 'coz I didn't actually had a band yet.

And so this is where I end. During the final days prior to the orientation, I started going out alot. Hanging out with friends and eventually went jamming again (if you haven't noticed). I spent alot of money ($350 in a week... gawwd). I went for my orientation. Met cool people. Achieved my goal to perform on stage. And now the break ends. 6 months. Gone. It just flew by. School begins tomorrow. My old lifestyle ends when I go to bed in a few hours time. It's been fun while it lasted.

I'm more than happy. Swear to god, I am.

----------

2009-04-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

I'm too tired to type much now.

But let's just say that, I had a blast, and looking forward to studying in NYP.

Will elaborate on the orientation when I can.

MS0901 ftw

Collapse (Post-Amerika)

2009-04-15T06:17:00.001-07:00

Shakespeare Says Hi?

2009-04-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

After a total of 6 jam-less months, I've been finally invited to play with Khai and his Cousin & friends as Rythmist and back-up (literally) vocals.

Random Jam! Thanks to Khai

It's fun to finally get back to the studio and play again, even though we didn't sound as good as I thought we could have been. But since it was only a practice session, it didn't matter. I'm hoping we can get to the point where we improvising stuff would be a norm in our jam sessions.

Going Kurt Cobain-ish, headbanging to "Smells Like Teen Spirit"....

The people were great, I felt like a part of them quickly, though feeling abit left out. Through time, I believe I'll get to know them soon enough. They were great to hang out with and laugh with. I love making friends, haha.

Speaking of making friends, my Poly orientation is only 2 days away. Feeling excited. The anticipation is killing me. Can't wait to meet new people. I'll probably be like "Oh Hi, I'm a musician" to them. Hahahah. I've got hints from my seniors (those 2 guys, 'sides Khai, are my Seniors apparently) that the Ory will be awesome. I'll have to see it for myself.

Can't wait, You whoreson cullionly barber monger.... (Shakespearean insults)

2009-04-08T09:29:00.000-07:00

And tonight I Thank the Stars,
As I count my lucky Scars,
For everything you've given me

And all the words I gave to you,
Something borrowed,
Something blue
If you want them back,

I'll give it to you..........

I can haz MONIES?

2009-04-04T08:17:00.000-07:00

I have an ATM card now.

Bitch.

Aww yeah!

Green Fiction

2009-04-03T09:28:00.001-07:00

These past two weeks, I have read 3 books.
All written by Young Adult author John Green.

It started out with a random poster at Sengkang Library (you know, the ones that they use to promote reading). The poster quoted a specific Paragraph from a book. And so out of curiosity (actually boredom), I went along to read it. I was amazed by the literature. The paragraph narrates a scene from the book that happened to be when the main character is trying to get back together with his "just friends" love. And then it struck my interest (oh i wonder how could that beeee..). And so I began researching for the source of said paragraph. "An Abundance of Katherines". Interesting title, I told myself. Without wasting anytime I was hard at work to find the book! (And by hard, I meant, just walking to the Catalogue computer station and squinting my eyes and staring at the bookshelves for 5 minutes). Found it, paid my fines, borrowed it, off I go reading it.

Five days later, I returned "enlightened". It's been so long that I've read an actual good book (last book - "Cheated!" by Patrick Jones), I was amazed by the story. The plot. The writing style. The hilarity. The emotions. And the Logic and metaphors from the story. Wow. It astounded me. It was a nice read and left me thinking alot after that. I could really feel for the main character. And the story was a continuous line of i wanna read more coz it's so fun factor.

The next day, I went looking for Paper Towns, Green's latest work, since I couldn't find Looking for Alaska at SKCL. Excitedly read it, and wow. It really hit me. It started off with a bang. It build up slowly with sub-plot after sub-plot but never gave up on the entertainment factor. It could leave you laughing in one page, then crying on the next, and instantly leaves you deep in thought with a single paragraph. Though I could not relate myself to the main character, I had wished I could be him. Also, I teared at the ending. Emotional, lol.

Finally, found Looking For Alaska and read it. Decided to read it slowly, since I was reading books in less than a week (PT took me 4 days). But the concept of taking my time to read is foreign to me when I'm reading a book that wants me to find out what's going to happen next. The book felt different from the other two. It had the same deep writing style, but it was a much more serious and matured theme. And by mature, I mean sexual. I don't want to spoil it for you, but in one part, it talks about a girl performing fellatio for the main character. Oh wait, I just spoiled it for you. Well if you know what it meant, shush. If you don't, too bad. I Loled (no, I was not aroused). The book didn't have any big adventure unlike the other two, but it has a deeper message to one of the important character of the novel. I liked it alot, a good read if you can comprehend it's message.

The books are so good, that I might even do a Review of each book in depth detail so you can know the plot without actually reading the book! Yay, see, how nice I am to y'all. Even without any professional training in Literature or book analyzing, I shall try my best to not sound like an idiot.

With that said, I've enjoyed my Reading week and would now like to continue writing. I've had inspiration over the past week. Also, shopping. Yes. I need to do that. THE BREAK IS ALMOST ENDING. OH MY GOD I SPENT 5 MONTHS DOING NOTHING, AND NOW IT'S ALMOST OVER. HOW CAN THIS BE. IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT. And I feel fine. Gotta make my last few days of break as memorable as I can, before I can move on, without looking back and go on to begin another chapter in My book of life in the great wonders of a new world that awaits me. That sounded totally lame and not as melodramatic as I wanted to be. Meh.

SO YES GO ON WITHOUT ME.
RANDOM CAPITAL WORDS FTW.
I WILL END THIS POST NOW..

Harpie Burthdaeh

2009-04-02T09:28:00.001-07:00

A Special Shout-out, to a certain someone somewhere out there, who touched my heart, though cracked it a little, but still made it all worthwhile when we hang out.

Happy Birthday, miss FarLoL

19th to be precise. (funny, my birthday's on the 19th too! ... nevermind)

May you keep living Lol-ful and Happy. Enjoy your final Teenage year. Mine's still long way to go.

Woo!!

Appeal to Reason

2009-03-31T20:40:00.000-07:00

So, I finally bought Rise Against's latest album, Appeal to Reason.

I've been meaning to get it, since, Oh I don't know, Beginning of 2008? I've been busy and my money have been away for other causes, so the idea of getting the album always slips my mind. Now I finally have it. And I must say, it is worth every cent. I mean it. The album is unexpectedly so much better. I had low expectations because of the probability the band may change the sound of their music. But no. They still are awesome, only on steroids! They've pumped up the musicality and you could almost head-bang to every song in the album. And by today's standards of albums, they've actually compiled quite a number of songs too. Also, it comes in a velvet paper casing. Biodegradable and recycle-able. How thoughtful.

The album starts off with "Collapse (Post-Amerika)" with a badass riff that instantly sucks you in to the music (if you're into these kind of stuff like me, anyways). Works it way up nicely. The album gravitates more towards the "Our Govt and Society is Fucked Up" theme now, rather than the Heartbroken theme. So technically, it's not as emo. It's Punk.

Also, take note that I actually BUY the album. And not download it. Unlike the bunch of you people out there. I know who you are. Lol. I rather support these hardworking bands. Piracy is lame, unless it comes to stuff that aren't really worth the high price. Heh. (everyone's a hypocrite, deal with it)

So I will leave you with my personal favourite.
"Savior" by Rise Against.

It kills me not to know this but I've all but just forgotten
What the color of her eyes were and her scars or how she got them
As the telling signs of age rain down a single tear is dropping
Through the valleys of an aging face that this world has forgotten
There is no reconciliation that will put me in my place
And there is no time like the present to drink these draining seconds
But seldom do these words ring true when I'm constantly failing you
Like walls that we just can't break through until we disappear

So tell me now
If this ain't love then how do we get out?
Because I don't know
That's when she said I don't hate you boy
I just want to save you while there's still something left to save
That's when I told her I love you girl
But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have

But the day pressed on like crushing weights
For no man does it ever wait
Like memories of dying days
That deafen us like hurricanes
Bathed in flames we held the brand
Uncurled the fingers in your hand
Pressed into the flesh like sand
Now do you understand?

So tell me now
If this ain't love then how do we get out?
Because I don't know
That's when she said I don't hate you boy
I just want to save you while there's still something left to save
That's when I told her I love you girl
But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have

1000 miles away
There's nothing left to say
But so much left that I don't know
We never had a choice
This world is too much noise
It takes me under
It takes me under once again
I don't hate you
I don't hate you

So tell me now
If this ain't love then how do we get out?
Because I don't know
That's when she said I don't hate you boy
I just want to save you while there's still something left to save
That's when I told her I love you girl
But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have

I don't hate you
I don't hate you, no

An Abundance of....

2009-03-28T08:13:00.000-07:00

Wow, this week was a total blast.

I had the best time of my life. A romantic time of my life. Going on an epic adventure, meeting someone knew out of nowhere, settling my troubled and awkward past, and finally going in for the kiss in a romantic setting.

Aww yeah...

Just like living in a story of a novel...

..
Which was what it is.... All I did was read this week.
I didn't go anywhere but a few places for window shopping.

All I did was read.. alot.

Yeah....

John Green is awesome though.
Margo and Lindsey are some of the most beautiful girls I've ever.... read.

Nevermind.

Random Facts #56

2009-03-24T11:38:00.000-07:00

Random Facts about Me.

#56

I find girls with ponytails attractive.

...
...
...

What?

"The Great Escape" - We Are Scientist

2009-03-24T03:08:00.001-07:00

Making my escape
Making my escape
Tell myself that
Everything's in shape
Everything's in shape
But me
How long can this take
How long can this take
Tell myself that
Everything is great
Everything is great
Well how'm I doing?

I gotta great idea
I'm gonna wait right here
I gotta great idea
I'm gonna wait right here
While everything is adding
Up, up, up
Everything is adding
Up, up, up

Breaking both my hands
Breaking both my hands
Telling me to
Take it like a man
Take it like a man
I can't
I don't understand
I don't understand
Please repeat whatever you just said
Nothing's making sense
Well how'm I doing?

I gotta great idea
I'm gonna wait right here
I gotta great idea
I'm gonna wait right here
While everything is adding
Up, up, up
Everything is adding
Up, up, up

They're breaking both my hands
They're breaking both my hands
And telling me to
Take it like a man
And take it like a man
Well fuck that
I don't understand
Said I don't understand
So please repeat whatever you just said
'cause nothing's making sense
Well how'm I doing?

I gotta great idea
I'm gonna wait right here
I gotta great idea
I'm gonna wait right here
While everything is adding
Up, up, up
Everything is adding
Up, up, up

----------------
My life in a nutshell

Wow.

D:

Epic huh.

Damn Bus Rides

2009-03-18T10:22:00.000-07:00

I have a thing here. Apparently, I'm sick. No, I know I've said before, but not Sick as in Sick-Sick, I mean mind-sick, but not Effing-Sick or mental-sick just mind-sick. Get it? No? Well nevermind.

I'm sick. I keep taking bus rides. Why.
I mean, the train is much faster and all, but I still gravitate toward the old long four-wheeler.
And whats more is that, for short journeys, I take the train. But for journeys that would take forever to get to, I take the bloody Bus instead. What. Don't look at me like that.

I know it's stupid, but I have my reasons. I think. First of all, I'm currently in the midst of waiting to enter Polytechnic, so till then I'm not paying students fair anymore, I'm paying the full fucking price! D:

I swear, I could drain a whole $10 in less than a week. This one time, Khai and I went to Chua Chu Kang just for a 20mins trip there, and when we returned to Sengkang, my Ez-link card was drained to half it's amount. In less than a day. I just topped up to $10 earlier that day. So from then on, I started taking bus rides, they seem.. cheaper? Maybe. Or I use my legs and fukken walk. Hah!

But seriously, for the past month or so I've been taking bus rides to immense destinations. Ever taken a Bus from Jurong all the way back to Hougang? No? Well, I HAVE. And I don't know whether to be proud or not. That trip was torture at best. What I thought would be an hours ride or so, became a nightmare. Little did I know that the bus would at first go South of Singapore, then across Central Singapore and to the Eastern side of the country, only to retreat back to the North and nicely stop at Hougang interchange. It was an endurance test. My pants were chaffing, my nose were leaking, my mind was sinking, and my body was shivering. I ride lasted a mere 2 and a half hours. The moment I stepped off the bus, I gasped in the fresh air I had longed for throughout the ride and relish the feel of normal humid warm air again. My legs were still shaking from the sudden awakening. I had been dipping in and out of sleep. The only keeping me together was my mp3 player.

Looking at the list of bus stops the bus makes at an interchange could be deceiving. It's easy to see and count how many stops there would be inbetween your destination and the interchange. But living it is a total different thing. So don't think that maybe your stop is only somewhere on the second column of the list, and the trip would be short lived. Don't ever underestimate that. The feeling of disappointement is not worth it. Gah!

Okay to be honest, I don't really hate the bus. It's nice to ride and to relax. The train is claustrophobic enough and the probability of you finding a seat would depend. I fancy not the crowds that pack the only areas that you would ever feel comfortable standing at. Or the ones who would stare at you endlessly just because you're alone, look different, or currently playing a handheld game console that does not resemble a Playstation Portable.

I love bus rides. And that is why I'm sick. Most people would just go for the easy option of the train. Ignoring the crowd or extra fare just for the sake of getting to their destination quickly. But for me, my first option will always be to look for a bus that crosses path with my destination. Besides, I get to save a few cents and view places in Singapore I never knew existed or would never in my life step foot upon. Though I'll have to brace for the journey, I'll have to endure it one way or another.

-----------
The only reason why I wrote this was to prevent the "boredom army" from taking over my mind.

Also I needed to write something again, and I like writing.

So read it, or not. I don't give a F*ck D:

Also, it's for me to get out of mein Emo-mood. It's time I move on and look on the brrriiiiiighhhttt siiiiddeee off liiiffeeee .... maybe

Best of You

2009-03-16T10:03:00.001-07:00

Foo Fighters - Best Of You (Acoustic/Live) - Foo Fighters

It appears I have burst into flames

2009-03-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

Conventions in Singapore a rare. But when one do comes around, expect the horde of kiasu Singaporeans to massively congregate to it in an attempt to experience what the fuss is all about and to get good cheap deals they probably won't ever get elsewhere.

The IT Fair is (or was) here! "Gadets galore, Electronics some more!" That should have been the slogan for the fair, if you asked me. I've been there, twice in fact. Once with my family, and another with a couple of friends. I was there for the first and second day. The fair lasted for 4 days. On the first day, the crowd was packed enough. Fortunately, it was bearable and in the end, got myself a new Lenovo laptop. I'll get more detail into that later.

Second day, my friends and I met up during our former school's annual Sports Day event. Lame as always, boring as fuck as usual. Every year it's the same. Only the runners, jocks and cheerleaders were having the fun. The spectators won't give a fuck on whats going on, only trying to bear the fact they had to waste half of a nice day stuck in a stadium doing nothing. Hah. My meeting with my classmates started my day off well. Catching up with each other, and wishing each other the best for our future. We left just before the started to rain. Looks like the event would have to be cut short, hah.

A whole day spent walking around non-stop (and I mean it) (seriously, there was no where to sit) (seriously, ouch) (wth). The whole point there was to see the other half of the convention (which I missed out on the first day) aannd to look for a good notebook deal for Khai. Hah. Fussy minded guy. My legs, they hurt.

And whoop de dah. On the very next day, I felt a burning sensation that most people have refered to as "burning up", "body aches", "pyrexia", "an increase in body temperature above normal levels" or how the public popular dubbed it as a Fever. |:

Gah. Waking up with aches, terrible headaches, inability to focus myself, and dropping in and out of concious. Yes for real. I was sick, the fever was only the main object, but other effect had it's toll on me. What's worst is that whenever I fall asleep, I've been having weird hallucinations or dreams. Hard to describe, it just made me more giddy when I woke up. Ugghhh....

Being sick only made my mind worst. Unlike, well, you know. I haven't had time to be preoccupied with stuff. It's hard to not think when I don't want to think. I have to learn to move on and face the fact it's over. It's fucking over, I lived a sweet dream and woke up to reality. Wow. Sounds like a quote from a song. Hmmm....

In an unrelated matter. I'm coping with myself now. It still hurts when I think about it. That's why I don't want to. I should move on, or should I not? I don't know. But you look happy with the other people around you. I'm glad you are. I don't think I could ever do the same. I wish I could pour my heart out and show you what I think, feel, and all the words I want to say to you, but I can't seem to. I'm sorry. I'm not making sense.

My heart is under arrest again, my head is giving me life or death, but I can't choose.

Im So Stupid

2009-03-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

Gah, what the hell was I thinking.

Of course it's over.

I've got to move on.

Feelings are killing me inside.

Good riddance love, I hope you had a time of your life.

Really, I have to stop myself.

I don't know whether if you do or do not.

It's killing me on the inside.

Gadgets Galore and Feelings Alore

2009-03-12T02:24:00.000-07:00

People come to me for their gadget and electronic troubleshooting, as if I would know about every single computer thing out there. It gets stressful at times to keep up and try to at least keep a straight face when telling them information that I may be a little sketchy of. I don't keep up to date with all gadgetry and computer stuff. Sure I can fix and install and research for your hardware needs, but it I won't always give you a straight or effective solution for your troubleshoots.

I'm not perfect. But I'm happy to help in any way I can. Helping makes me high, haha. The satisfaction of successfully aiding a friend in need can never be compared with anything else. So if you're asking me for help, don't always expect me to give you a 100% solution. I may or may not be able to get it done for you. But I will try my best and not let you guys down. Heh.

Speaking of that, my latest troubleshooting I've done is for Leonard's newly bought Nintendo DS. Now I haven't really been playing around with my own NDS lately. So I may be a little rusty. I volunteered to download games for it. But when I realise his DS's R4 cartridge isn't fully working yet, it was needless to say that I would have to fix it too.

I spent the whole of last night trying to figure out the problem for it's issue. Apparently, the DS would be stucking in a "Loading..." screen forever. It won't budge. I research all over the internets in hopes of finding a solution. Downloading every bit of software I thought might work with the cartridge. Alas, I failed. The only rationale I could get out of the problem is that the Cartridge poor dear Leonard bought was a clone or apparently a different version of what he thought it would be and requires a specific software for itself. I needed the information of where that cartridge came from, but I had no source. He didn't have the box that came along with the cartridge. Oh wells. I'm so sorry Leonard. If I can find a solution I'll do what I can for ya Bro. Hahah.

That wasn't the only thing I did yesterday.
Earlier I had spent the day with her. A movie and a short shopping trip. That was all.
Role models was a laugh. A little matured but, I like that kind of crap. Haha.

Hmm, the whole time I was with her, it felt so weird again.
Ever since that night, I don't know why I just can't be the same way again. I'm trying to, but I don't seem to know how. All that weeks and months of building my confidence to be with her was somehow destroyed. I don't blame her. It was my fault starting it in the first place. With recent happenings, I just feel confused.... I don't know how to exactly say it (I do but I don't want to..). Oh wells, I'll find a way to get this through. If you're reading this, you know who you are, don't be hurt. It's my fault. I just gotta do more thinking and I'll find a way to get this all over and out with. Heh.

---------------
Do you remember back then, when we met
You told me this gets harder
Well it did
Been holding on forever...
Promise me that when I'm gone
You won't forget me

We never got that far
This helps me to think all through the night
Bright lights that won't kill me now, won't tell me how
I'm probably just another line in your book.

2009-03-09T09:43:00.000-07:00

It's been one week since you looked at me
cocked your head to the side and said I'm angry.
Five days since you laughed at me
saying get that together come back and see me.
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
but it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry

Lolololololololololololol.

---------
In other news, I own at Halo Wars.. that is all.

Rumors Of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

2009-03-06T16:33:00.001-08:00

So please don't ask me how
I ended up at my wits end and breaking down
Pages torn from books we never read
Because we're plugged into this grid
Don't pull this plug right now or then we'd really have to live

When I die, will they remember not what I did but what I haven't done?
It's not the end that i fear with each breath, it's life that scares me to death
When we build these dreams on sand
How they all slip through our hands
And this might be our only chance
Let's take this one day at a time
I'll hold your hand if you hold mine
The time that we kill keeps us alive

Your words won't save me now
I'm at the edge feeling the sweat drip from my brow
Get a grip on yourself is what they say
Every hour everyday
Hands over my ears, i've been screaming all these years

When I die will they remember not what I did but what I haven't done?
It's not the end that I fear with each breath, it's life that scares me to death
When we build these dreams on sand
How they all slip through our hands
And this might be our only chance
Let's take this one day at a time
I'll hold your hand if you hold mine
The time that we kill keeps us alive

We came in search of answers
We left empty handed again
Shots fired into the sky are now returning
Where the fuck will you hide?

Hiding from the laughter in the closets of our lives
But the door hinges are squeaking letting in thin shards of light
And now a hand's extending outward, quiet comfort they invite
Do we dare take what they offer, do we step into the light?

When I die will they remember not what I did but what I haven't done?
It's not the end that I fear with each breath, it's life that scares me to death
When we build these dreams on sand
How they all slip through our hands
And this might be our only chance
Let's take this one day at a time
I'll hold your hand if you hold mine
The time that we kill keeps us alive

When we build these dreams on sand
How they all slip through our hands
And this might be our only chance
Let's take this one day at a time
I'll hold your hand if you hold mine
The time that we kill keeps us alive

Ignore the first 30seconds.
Listen to the music after that.
--------------

A Nice song by one of my favourite Bands - Rise Against.

RA's songs tend to have strong lyrics behind them. I admire their work.
They're hardcore and emotionally powerful.

Ever since of recent happening
I've been listening to them much more now. Most likely in hopes to "drown out" the pain.
This song in particular got me to even more thinking of a much recent happening.
Relates to me... somehow.

Still, enjoy the hardcore rock music .... or not, just enjoy the lyrics.
It means alot.

Tweeeeeeeteeeeerrrrr

2009-03-05T03:29:00.000-08:00

Twitter is awesome.

Go do it.

Now.

I mean it.

Go.

Stop reading.

DO IT NOW.

Desolation Row

2009-02-26T10:09:00.000-08:00

Now at midnight
all the agents
and
the superhuman crew 

Go and round up everyone
that knows more
than they do

YOU BETTER LEAVE :D

2009-02-26T05:34:00.000-08:00

Mood: Contented
Listening to: "Desolation Row" - My Chemical Romance (Bob Dylan cover)
Reading: "Cheated" by Patrick Jones

Gah. My Back aches, and it hurts. It's been hurting, pretty bad. Ever since this morning. I woke up with this crap. Haha, I must have had some hard and intense fun last night... Heh. Just kidding. But still, seriously, what the hell....

Enrolment is a bitch.
So is medical checkups.

---------------------
One hand is tied to the tight-rope walker,
The other is in his pants.

And the riot squad, they're restless,
They need somewhere to go,
As Lady and I look out tonight from,
Desolation Row

Think about Life

2009-02-23T07:36:00.000-08:00

Here's a Random thought that crossed my mind these few days.
Think about it.

Even if, like me, you've only lived life for seventeen years. I used to watch this movie called Forrest Gump. The guy in the movie keeps saying how life is like a box of chocolates, and you never know what you'll get. Even I know boxes of chocolates have those diagrams on the bottom that shows you whats inside.

No. Life isn't like that at all. You want to know what life is like? You ever see a road map of the United States of America? That's life. It's a thousand possible roads, all of them somehow connected to each other. Some roads take you places where you can roll down the window, let the music blast, and drive forever free; some roads lead you to places thought you'd never be.

Sometimes, there would be this one road out of this place, and it's the road you cannot take. Instead, all you can do, like me, is open up the map in your head, run your finger backward from this place to the place before and the place before that, and think about the roads that got us there. It is the roads we take, and the choices we make, that brings us to these places.

Think about it.
A good book told me this, and it's worth relating back.

Have a good day.

Don't Give a Fuck

2009-02-22T00:11:00.001-08:00

That's my new lifestyle, right there.

ACHIEVEABLES

2009-02-21T08:41:00.000-08:00

Heh...

:P

Swing Life Away

2009-02-20T10:17:00.000-08:00





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Am I loud and clear , o r am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or a m I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and r eplace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

We live on front porches and swing life a way,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

Swing life away
Swing life away
Swing life away
Swing life away

--------
Yeah.... I got bored, and alot of things running through my mind.

Been wanting to do this for quite sometime now.

Sigh

2009-02-20T08:27:00.000-08:00

Something's happened.
I don't feel like what it was used to be.

It's

Just

Not

The

Same

anymore.....

sigh

I thought, i thought wrong....
I'm not anyone's charm, I'm just badluck...

Hey hey hey hey hey hey can you hear me? can you hear me? can you hear me? hey hey

2009-02-16T20:02:00.000-08:00

Yeeaahh..

I've got nothing much to say now.

Just blogged in to say HI, been awhile I've said anything here.

Once again I'm just waiting.

Valentines Day has passed, or should I say "Commercialization of Basic Human Affection" Day.
Nothing to do with anything, but, whatever.

I know, I know, I should probably type my experiences from last week.
But mehh, I don't want to go into much detail. It's just been an OKAY week.

Maybe this week will be much more extravagant or exciting than ever! Who knows?! :D

|:

Without you ....

2009-02-13T08:09:00.000-08:00

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight
It’s only you and me

The miles just keep rolling
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
You're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl
It’s only you and me

Everything I know
And anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it’s all said and done
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl
It’s only you and me

Don't tell me what you think, 'Coz I don't care this time

2009-02-04T07:18:00.000-08:00

Well, the week was bull.

But I'm gonna make a promise to myself right now.

As of the start of next week, I'm going to start enjoying my life as it is.

No hell or high water will stop me.

>:)