"Smoked Out"

Here's a preview of one of my Journalistic Writing ICA4 articles.

It's about a smoker. Enjoy.

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He blew out his puff as he sat there quietly, watching the tip of his cigarette die out. He had finished the second stick of the day, so he stubbed it out and threw it into the ash tray. As he looked up, his face expressionless, he tried to recall the days of how that age old habit started out in him.

Muhammad Arifin, is only 18 this year, but he has already been smoking for 4 years now. Studying in Nanyang Polytechnic’s Media Studies & Management (soon to be rebranded as Mass Media Management), he has been depending on the magic stick to keep him going through the tough life of polytechnic. But how did he pick it up in the first place?

It all started when Arifin was in Secondary 2. Back then, he was schooling in Ang Mo Kio Secondary, studying in the express stream. The thing is for Ariffin, he never really had smoker friends back then. He started smoking due not to peer pressure, but more to personal issues. His dad was already a smoker, and he was having trouble with his studies. So one day, he decided to take his first puffs which lead him onto a never-ending journey of tobacco.

“I could still remember my first pack. It was Marlboro Reds.” He said.

“I didn’t know what else to buy, so I bought it from a shop under my block. The uncle there assumed I was old enough, and sold me the pack.”

Nowadays, Ariffin would smoke different brands depending on his mood and the money he has in his pocket.

Ever since, he has discreetly smoked throughout his secondary school life and into his tertiary education. He had been caught before by his parents, but after countless berates, they have more or less given up on him.

However, Arifin had tried to quit the habit before. Over the course of his smoking career, he has tried to quit for at least about 6 times. One time, he was almost successful, going as long as 6 months without a cigarette.

“It was because of this girl, I liked. She told me, she’ll only be with me if quit smoking – which I did. But she disappeared eventually, which gave me a reason not to quit anymore”, Arifin recalls.

Arifin explains his life as a roller coaster ride, with more downs than ups. This made him go back to the comforts of tobacco every time something doesn’t go right. Sometimes he feels as if he doesn’t want to be dependent on the stick, seeing he isn’t exactly the healthiest guy on earth.

He had tried various ways to get him out of the habit. At first, he tried to simply satisfy cravings by having a sweet every now and then. However, that became a much more expensive method than buying packs weekly. Eventually he tried Nicotine Gum, a gum that supposedly gives smokers their nicotine fix without the stains of tobacco. His parents bought for him the gum for his 17th birthday. He tried it a couple of times, but hated it due to its bland and spicy taste.

No matter what he tried, the call of the cigarette was too strong for him to resist. To him, smoking isn’t just because of his addiction to nicotine. He feels at ease with it. It calms him when nothing else can.

“Sometimes, I feel that cigarettes are the only thing that truly understands me”

Muhammad Arifin doesn’t intend to give up smoking anytime soon now. He now believes it’s the only thing keeping him together after all he’s been through, and he doesn’t regret it at all. Even if he did have a chance to forever quit smoking, he would rather stick to the stick.

Carry On Wayward Son

Carry on my wayward son,
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion
I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high
Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man
I hear the voices when I'm dreamin', I can hear them say:

Carry on my wayward son,
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, it surely means that I don't know
On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune, but I hear the voices say:

Carry on my wayward son,
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more NO!

Carry on, you will always remember
Carry on, nothing equals the splendor
Now your life's no longer empty
Surely heaven waits for you

Carry on my wayward son,
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry
Don't you cry no more

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A classic.

Just felt like it.

Please Don't Slow Me Down, If I'm Going Too Fast....

Holy shit, it's finally over.

For now.

For the past week, I've been on the fucking edge from the moment I wake up, till I close my eyes and go to sleep. I don't know why. I've been waking up late every morning. Rushing to school, keeping my cool and all. It's pretty obvious to people I'm under pressure and my angst is getting the best of me at times.

But that's me, when I'm all drained out. I wasn't under that much pressure. I can handle the stress, but when an overload of stuff comes down on me, I get tired. I was just shagged for the most part. Planning and directing a play, planning group projects and executing roles, doing assignments and studying for tests and all. Mehhh...

At least I'm done with it. Thank god. You have no idea how good I felt while I was in that taxi, after I sent her off, on the way home. I felt refreshed and I literally felt something heavy was off me finally.

Now my goal is to sleep, stay in bed, and watch the World Cup all the way till the start of term 2... BUT WAIT!

Luqman, you forgetful ignorant lazy baffoon. Of course you can't rest now! There's still much to do over these 2 weeks! When school reopens, everything will come running down my doorstep like a bull seeing red.

So okay, here's the plan - take a break for 2 days. Once Wednesday passes, get back on my toes and do things SLOWLY. Yes, take it slow. An advice I made up, but never really uphold myself. I'm a such an hypocrite.

----

Any-vayz...

I vuld liek to thank ze Year 2 Dramas for putting in their precious time for StageArts Night. I know the story and all isn't exactly right, and the crowd laughed at the wrong times, and the sounds cocked up, and everything didn't went smoothly, and I was stressed out and all.

But seriously, everyone thanks.

Now we all can vanish and make our dramatic comeback to Stage Arts, one by one, when production comes along. Or not.


Whatever it is... I wanna not do stuff anymore. For now.

Me? Sarcastic? Nahhhh....

What a mess. What's a mess? Everything is!

But it's the kind of mess that keeps us moving and not loathing around, doing nothing. Being lazy-ass bums.

Shit happens all the freaking time. Like everyday, there's bound to be something trying to bring you down. It can be as small as dropping a coin the floor, or as big as a fight with someone. Basically, a lot went down over the past week or so.

Good and bad. It's funny how so many things can happen to you, when you've hardly done anything at all.

Anyways.

School - same old, same old.

Good news?
I passed both my Journalistic Writing and Media Market Research written test. Not exactly flying colours, but not exactly borderline average either. I'm happy because these bastards decided to pop-up on my birthday, and I fucking took them down like the bitches they are.

Bad news?
Lots of work, Multi-cam was a nerve-wrecking. I'm constantly being late for classes. I'm always coming home late, and dying on my desk. I've been starving during the day, and always end-up eating a lot late at night.

Drama taking a toll on me. I'm directing a play for StageArts night. I fear, I won't get everything done in time. I'm good at executing, but organizing ain't my cup of tea.

Also, I got appointed as leader for two module ICAs. I didn't had a say. But meh, I'll show them whose boss! That would be ME. I haven't done anything. Looks like I gotta move the cogs in the machine. That's what I'm always expected to do.

Hmm, as far as my relationship with her is concerned, we've gone through rocky waters. But fortunately all is fine. She's simple, yet confusing. Or maybe it's just in my head. Maybe I just don't know how to handle and adapt to sudden chances in the tide.

Sometimes it feels like an unstoppable force, meets an immovable object. Nothing is gain..

Needless to say, it's part and parcel of everything. That's reality, nothing is ever you expect it to be. Still, I'm not complaining. I'd take this over being lonely and upset all the time, any day.


NOW. Only ONE MORE FREAKING WEEK. After this week, well .. technically, there is no "holiday" just a break. Hell, the break won't even be a break.

BUT WE MUST BE OPTIMISTIC. For we must remember - It's always darkest before the dawn.

NOW. ONWARDS. after I finish this cookie.

Caught in a Crossfire

Here's a situation for you little people. Play it out in your head.
It may require some flexible ethics depending on who you are.

Scenario:
You are out with two good friends. One of them is your significant other, the other, her/his best friend. Everyone's having a great time, until suddenly, a tiny issue is raised and everything goes sour.

Your significant other fires harsh words at their best friend. There is an awkward silence.

You are left alone.

Both parties are badly hurt. Your significant other is now emotional and regrets their actions.

Do you still comfort and support them?

What about the other friend? Remember, they're still a very good/close friend of yours.
Would it be biased if you tend to your own partner only? Will they feel neglected?

The best course of action is obviously to be Neutral. But what do you say to be neutral? How will you break the long silence? What do you do to mend the situation?

-----

I hope someone can give me an answer to this, because I suck at it. Thanks.

Send me your best answers, and you'll stand a chance to win a Sandwich... made by me.

I must confess that I feel like a monster...

What is wrong with this animal
I'm terrible
I hope you never see me wind up!

The barrage of workload and endless nights reign once again. The sudden transition from relaxation mode to work-mode is never an easy shift. My fatigue is showing. But, I have to put it aside to attend to other matters.

In-Course Assessments every single week. And unlike last semester, where I was lazing my ass off throughout, I'm actually trying to put effort now. I actually studied for a written test that wasn't an exam. Things are moving so fast, it still feels as if the holidays just ended. But in actual fact, that was more than a month ago.

Today, my angst got a grip on me once again. I never liked myself when I'm angry, 'coz, I don't think. I snapped at Arifin, my good friend, while he was having a good time. For no reason. I don't know why. I felt so bad after wards. I don't know how many lives I've shook because of my unforeseen mood swings. Unpredictable anger is the worst form anger ever. I need an anger management therapist... Like Dr. Buddy Rydell! Anger Management was a good movie.

The face that killed a thousand angry brain cells.... wait

Tomorrow's Vesak Day, a public holiday. I wanna go out. My parents promised me an outing, though that hardly seem possible now. I find it funny, they hardly acknowledged even my own birthday. My dad anyways. I didn't receive a present or anything. Have they given up on me?

Maybe not. I pray not.

I guess, it's the perfect time to catch my breath, and take a break. But nah, I've never been one to sit still and rejuvenate. I'll find a way.

Okay enough of this depressing bull shit. I'll crap about something magical tomorrow.

OWW!! I mean... AAHH!! ... nah, not really.

Well, well... look who's an old dude now.

Yours truly. I got so caught up with all the excitement and glamor of having those kick-ass rock star parties all night, I forgot to wish myself my own Birthday.

So,

Happy fucking Birthday to Me.

I'm finally a 19 year-old awesome guy. No not really.
But I am 19... Sigh.

So how I did I really celebrated the official start of my final teenage year? Not much. All I did before the barrage of facebook wishes came raining down my Notification box was, sitting on my arse, eating chocolate chip cookies and watching Family Guy till 4am in the morning. Best Party Ever.

But before that, the guys and me head to that Grassroots club/building next door to the school, and had a few friendly games of Pool. What started out as a joke, became a real fun event for us.

Youliang takes a shot.

All we needed were leather jackets, epic beards, a Jukebox, cigarettes, glasses of beer, and a hot waitress walking around taking our Steak orders... Yeah keep dreaming Luq, this ain't America.

A Tuesday Evening well spent.

The next day, as a birthday present, Miss Ang thought it'd be nice to give us a test! Journalistic Writing! Yay. It feels so fun to pick up the pen and paper again, and actually write an article/composition with it. Sure, my hand felt crampy after wards, but it was worth it! Memories of days old where this was a norm and writing story involved a pen, correction tape, and an endless supply of paper. Secondary school compo days were awesome ... except when it comes to Mother Tongue. Fuck you Karangan.

After all that, I met up with her and we had a mini-date to Pastamania.
It was, an intriguing experience for me, filled with interesting tastes that made my tongue danced out loud. Tasbasco Sauce ftw.

Also, I've NEVER eaten in at Pastamania before (I've been more of a Take-away kind of guy), so I was kinda lost with the what-nots of the restaurant. Now I know, and knowing is half the battle!

That new experience was her birthday gift to me. It was all I needed, and I'm more than happy with it.

I just wish I wasn't so much of an idiot during the night. One stupid move by me without thinking, and everything went haywire. I felt like screaming and tearing off some heads in the bus. Sigh. But alas, what was done, is done.

And so, that was my 19th birthday in a wrap. To think since I'm 19, and I'm celeberating on the 19th, and I was born 1991, I would have a string of some magical or epic number-19 filled events. But, I've never been one for such trivial celebrations. It's my final year as a teenager. I'll need to live it all. When I turn 20, and look back at how I grew up, I want to remember my teenage-hood as an extravagant series of events that fully shaped my life for the better, and not remember it for the wrong reasons.